As Women of HR gets ready to turn three years old this June, we’re in the process of going through our first major transition.  For the past three years, the amazing and talented Lisa Rosendahl has been the driving force behind this site, spending countless hours soliciting, editing, and scheduling all of the fantastic and informative posts that have run.  If not for her, this site would not be what it is today, and I know I’m not alone in expressing my gratitute to Lisa for all of her efforts.  But as with any major project, as things evolve, changes become necessary.  To allow her more time to focus on her own endeavors, Lisa has decided to step aside as editor, and I have stepped in to assume those duties.  To read Lisa’s thoughts on the transition, stop over to her blog where she’s talking about it today as well.

As the new editor, I look forward to continuing to provide you, our readers, with the informative and thought-provoking posts you have come to expect.  I’ll also be looking to add new themes, series, and topics to keep the site ever evolving and in tune with the changing nature of our profession and business in general.

I would like to offer a public THANK YOU to all of our intelligent, talented, and hard-working contributors who generously give of their own time to share their thoughts and experiences with all of you.  Without them, we wouldn’t have a Women of HR!

And last but not least, a big THANK YOU to all of our readers for continuing to come back, week after week, to see what we’re currently talking about.  If there’s anything in particular that you’d like to see us posting about, please comment below or send me a note at  womenofhr@gmail.com.  I welcome any suggestions for topics and themes, or any ideas you may have for ensuring that we’re relevant and providing you what you need.  And if any of you have ever thought about wanting to write and would like to become a contributor, or even just test the waters with a guest post, please send me a note as well.  We’d love to have you as part of our team!

Everyone faces distractions at work.  Very seldom do any of us ever enjoy the luxury of eight to nine solid hours to dedicate to focusing on priorities and projects without something coming up to draw our attention elsewhere.

Maybe it’s a phone call from school to let you know your child is sick; maybe it’s your significant other calling to vent about some frustration; maybe it’s a co-worker who’s just in the mood to chit-chat about the latest reality TV show. Or maybe it’s self-inflicted distraction as you find yourself day-dreaming about that long awaited vacation that’s just around the corner.

These types of distractions are common, but also typically easy to deal with. You make arrangements for the sick child, your listen to the venting, you politely break away from the conversation with the co-worker, or you tell yourself if you can just focus for a few more days that vacation will be here soon enough.  You do what you need to do and soon after return to the task at hand.

But what happens when you’re faced with a distraction that’s not quite so easy to deal with? What happens when it’s a more major crisis in your life, or even a series of significant distractions that all but sap any hope for concentration you might have?

I was faced with this kind of distraction a few months back.  It came at a time of year that usually leaves me a bit melancholy anyway;  as the long, warm, busy days of summer transitioned into the cooler, more mellow days of fall and winter, I found myself facing a particularly difficult time with an unexpected brief illness and subsequent death in my family.  And because I have been very fortunate in my life to not have had to face many experiences like this, the loss hit me

hard.

During this time, there were days that I found myself struggling to focus on much of anything, nonetheless work. For the most part, I was able to accomplish what I needed to do to get by - but there were days when more than that was just not possible. Sometimes that meant finding busy work to make the hours pass.  Sometimes it meant leaving the office and taking a book to Starbucks for a coffee and a 30 minutes of reading to force my mind to focus on something.

As time went on, I was able to start powering through and get myself back on track, but it led me to wonder if there was a better way?  Were there any tricks I was missing, any secrets to pushing past the distraction?

Beyond that, it made me contemplate how do we as HR professionals and managers help our employees through their distractions? Every day, around us there are likely numerous employees who are attempting to deal with their own personal struggles, some of whom may be very good at hiding that fact. How do we recognize the signs and support them through it?

What about you? How do you manage your distractions when faced with them? How do you get yourself back on track? And how do you help those around you manage theirs?

About the author: Jennifer Payne, SPHR is experienced in employee relations, employment/staffing and training & development. She currently works in talent management in the retail grocery industry and is honored to be in the company of such talented and seasoned Women of HR bloggers. Jen is a fan of happy hours, hockey, traveling and connecting with interesting people. You can connect with her on Twitter as @JennyJensHR and on LinkedIn as Jennifer Payne, SPHR.

Photo credit iStockphoto

I had the opportunity this year to attend the SHRM 2012 Annual Conference and Exposition for the first time this year. This year's event brought nearly 16,000 HR professionals to Atlanta, GA for four days of learning and connecting, and I was honored and privileged to be among them.

For our readers who were not able to attend (and even for those who were) I wanted to share my observations and take aways from the experience.

I quickly realized that at a conference as large as this one, it is simply not possible to do, see, and learn everything that you want to, so my strategy became focused on finding a few gems of wisdom to bring back. The keynote speakers offered many:

• Condoleezza Rice spoke about role models and mentors and encouraged attendees to broaden their minds as they looked for theirs. To her, role models and mentors don't need to look like you, they simply need to have an interest in you. For us, the Women of HR, this is a useful message. Though it's beneficial to find successful women to emulate, that's not to say we cannot learn from and be mentored by the successful men around us.

• Malcolm Gladwell spoke of the new generational paradigm and how Millenials have a profoundly different notion of how social organizations behave. Our role as HR professionals is to bridge the gap between the Millenials' flexible, decentralized, network focused view of the workplace, and the traditional structured hierarchical view. There are benefits and drawbacks to both; we must figure out how to harness the power of each.

• Jim Collins challenged us to aspire to be the dumbest person in the room as that's what great leaders do. As we grow and develop in our roles as leaders, one of the wisest things we can do is surround ourselves with people who know more than we do; by doing this it challenges us to keep stretching our own capabilities and mak
  how to win back your ex

  es our teams that much stronger.

• Tom Brokaw reminded us that the latest generation to enter the workforce is coming out of school with a wariness for institutions and an entrepreneurial mindset. As HR leaders we need to figure out how to welcome them into our workplaces as encourage and motivate them to their fullest potential. He also said that the 21st century will be the century of women; some say it already is. Either way, we will have increasing responsibilities within our organizations and society as a whole.

But beyond the speakers, sessions, and nuggets of wisdom, the thing that struck me the most about being in attendance at SHRM was incredible feeling of being in the presence of so many fellow HR professionals with a passion for what we do. The camaraderie was palpable, especially if you embraced the opportunities to network and took advantage of the social engagements available to attendees.

We're living in a changing world and working in a changing industry, but being there, among my colleagues from around the country and the world, I couldn't help but to feel, in the wise words of Tom Brokaw, “we're all in this together.”

If you'd like to read about other attendees' and bloggers' impressions and leanings from the SHRM conference, you can search the #SHRM12 hash tag on Twitter or visit SHRM's Buzz site at http://buzz.annual.shrm.org/

About the author: Jennifer Payne, SPHR is experienced in employee relations, employment/staffing and training & development. She currently works in talent management in the retail grocery industry and is honored to be in the company of such talented and seasoned Women of HR bloggers. Jen is a fan of happy hours, hockey, traveling and connecting with interesting people. You can connect with her on Twitter as @JennyJensHR and on LinkedIn as Jennifer Payne, SPHR.

Recently, Time magazine ran a feature article,  Women, Money and Power, about the rise of the female breadwinner in America, and why this phenomenon is good for everyone involved.

While at first glance I thought the article was going to simply discuss powerful female earners supporting lower-wage earning men, in truth the main point was focused more on the options available to modern families who are not solely dependent on the male for financial support in the way that the traditional American family was.  The article made a number of interesting points through several real-life examples, and made a strong case for the upsides of this economic shift.

What was even more interesting to me than the examples cited in the article was a related discussion that ensued on Facebook regarding the idea of the female breadwinner, particularly in the sense of what I initially thought the article was about – high income women supporting lower-income men.

There were several opinions expressed; it seems some women are quite comfortable with the idea of supporting a man who makes considerably less than them and choose not to limit their options in partners, while others have an expectation that a potential partner should be more or less of an equal contributor.  There was even a discussion of the perceived pitfalls of relationships in which the man doesn’t enjoy the same level of “success” (either monetary or intellectual) as the woman, and how some

of those men have a difficult time relating to the career priorities and successes of the woman, dooming the relationship to failure.

I’ll admit that I’m personally in the camp of equal contributing partner.  I’m very comfortable with the success I’ve achieved thus far in my career, and I’m proud of what I see the amazing women around me achieve.  But I’m not comfortable with a complete role reversal in which the female takes over as the head of household and the primary financial supporter of the couple/family.  If I’m working hard for my money, I’d like a partner who works just as hard and contributes a similar amount.

As a modern, successful woman, should I be more comfortable with the idea of supporting someone?

The statistics are telling.  The percentage of women with college degrees in comparison to their male counterparts is increasing; the Time article cited that currently 60% of college students are women, and they now earn the majority of masters and doctorate degrees.    With that, it stands to reason that more and more women are or will be rising to higher power and earning positions within companies around the country and the world.  With this shift, will it become more necessary for a successful single woman to become comfortable with the idea of supporting a man who perhaps has not achieved the same level of success as her?  Or is it reasonable to still expect and hope for a more equal partner?

What do you think?

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This is the seventh post in a series where Women of HR writers share their thoughts and reactions to a manifesto, Six Rules Women Must Break In Order to Succeed.

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Rule #6 in The Six Rules Women Must Break in Order to Succeed – It’s Both/And (Don’t Fall Into Extreme Thinking), cautions us to avoid falling into extreme, black & white thinking.

But even beyond keeping an open mind, realizing that there are many shades of gray, and learning to deal with ambiguity, it also encourages us to “see the big picture” while maintaining a flexible outlook and approach.

I believe that this may be the most difficult of the six rules for many HR practitioners.

By the nature of our jobs, at least traditionally speaking, we have been taught to follow the rules and enforce the policies.  This by definition encourages extreme or black & white thinking.  Many HR practitioners, especially those in tune and with a passion for the changes that need to be realized in the field of HR, are learning to break away from this limiting approach to resolving issues.  Instead of just blindly enforcing the rules, they are learning to view issues in shades of gray, to think about not only the impact on the people involved, but also on business outcomes.  They are learning to become business partners within their organizations.

However, too many still either struggle with breaking away from black & white thinking, or maintain no desire to do so.  Too often we still hear phrases such as “that’s how we’ve always done it” and “that won’t work” being uttered; a tendency to write the rules for the minority instead of managing the exceptions is still too common of a practice.

I understand that there needs to be certain rules and guidelines in place; rules to ensure a safe, legal, and productive environment for our employees.  But when we spend too much time focused on those rules and who might break them, we lose sight of what our true purpose should be: providing the support to perpetuate the success of our organizations through our people.

In my own experience there have been times I have witnessed a hesitation to be flexible (or at least a difficultly in doing so) for fear of the precedent it may set.  I have even caught myself falling victim to this sort of thinking in certain situations.  Rule #6 reinforces that we need to break free from this inflexible thinking. We need to be optimistic and believe that most people, by nature, are well-intentioned and not looking to break the rules or cheat the system.

We need to free ourselves from the fear of “what might happen” and focus our energies on how we can proactively contribute.  Because if we continue to operate in an atmosphere of fear, we will never rise to the top levels of leadership that the authors are challenging us to achieve.

A great deal of time and effort is spent in blogs, on Twitter, and in other social media outlets discussing what constitutes great HR. What we can do and what we should be doing to be more strategic, to be better business partners, to perpetuate our businesses and help achieve its goals through its people are the topics of conversation.

I think (at least hope) I’m a fairly good HR pro. No one is perfect, and by all means I know I have my opportunities, but I like to believe I’m at least striving towards practicing great HR. And as I do so, there are certain kinds of HR behaviors I’ve recognized that I believe hold our profession back. I call them toxic HR behaviors.

Toxic behaviors prolong the bad rap that many HR departments have earned over the years and detract from our  business focus. For every one step forward we take with great HR practices, each instance of toxic HR pulls us two steps back. These behaviors manifest in many ways.

Let’s take a look at a few of my, uh, favorites:

The HR Weenie -  the classic black & white, rule/policy follower. The HR Weenie is so caught up in what the policy says that she (or he) can’t see beyond that to make a decision that’s in the best interest of the business. Weenies love to cite laws and/or specific passages from internal policies and are often heard uttering the words “we can’t do that!” 

The Ice Princess (or Prince) – has forgotten that “human” is a part of “human resources.”  The Ice Princess is probably so aloof and jaded by too much time spent handling difficult or unpleasant situations that she (or he) can no longer muster an ounce of emotion to remind herself that there is a person, or people, on the other end of that “situation.” 

The Drama Queen (or King) – the polar opposite of the Ice Princess, but just as toxic, the Drama Queen can’t separate enough of her own opinions or emotions to make a rational decision. This type also tends to over-react to every situation before knowing all of the facts. If the Drama Queen isn’t careful, she may find herself collapsed in an exhausted heap from living her life in “the sky is falling” style. 

The Rumormonger (aka Scandal Starter, Nosy Nellie or Desperate Housewife Wannebe) – loves to be the bearer of juicy gossip about “developments” within the office.  The problem with the Rumormonger is she goes beyond simply keeping a pulse of the organization to believing that every disagreement between two people, every poor managerial decision, or every simple question about a policy is the start of a huge issue brewing. Teamed up with the Drama Queen, the Rumormonger can cause some serious damage to morale. 

Short-Sighted Sally – Sally’s myopic tunnel vision prevents her from being able to see beyond “what’s always been done.” Hesitant to change any policy or process (outdated as it may be), she’ll never move beyond transactional paper-pushing or be able to think outside the silo of HR to understand the impact that HR can potentially have on helping her company achieve overall business goals. 

Who am I missing?  What toxic HR behaviors grate on your nerves? 

Photo credit iStockphoto

Do you know the old saying?

The one that says people come in and out of your life for a reason? That sometimes they come along to teach you something you needed to learn, or push you in a direction that you may not have chosen …and you are never quite the same afterwards?

Does that concept carry over to the workplace? Can we have that kind of influence over our co-workers?

 What if you had the power to change someone’s life for the better?

Dawn Hrdlica-Burke recently blogged about this topic at hr insomniac in reference to that same focus of Oprah’s finale show. And it’s a topic that’s also been on my mind for some time now too.

I just completed an online eCornell course, “Building a Talent Management Culture.”  Amongst the readings and discussions about talent management strategies was a great deal of focus on finding, mining and developing the talent within your company and then embedding that talent to your company and culture. 

It got me thinking about the early days of my career, and how my direction could have been drastically different.

You see, my career goals never initially included being an HR professional. After college, I found myself working in an administrative position in the HR department at a company in a temporary capacity. This job was simply intended to help me get by until I found my “real job,” which would most certainly be in marketing (the focus of my Bachelor’s degree).  The job was okay, but truth be told I could never see myself doing the work that my colleagues were doing; employee relations and dealing with other people’s problems day in and day out just didn’t seem like something that would get me out of bed in the morning.

But time went by and I still didn’t find that “real job,” so I ended up accepting a permanent position with the company. I was still hoping it would somehow lead to bigger and better things in marketing, maybe by applying for an internal posting. But that never quite seemed to happen, and it got to a point that some may have considered me to be a “disengaged” employee.  I did what I had to do, and tried to do it as best as I could, but I still couldn’t see a future for me in HR.

The reality is, at that point in my career no one really ever sat with me to dig a little deeper and see where my passions lay. I made it known that my desire was in marketing, and that was generally accepted by those in my department, but yet still no one ever approached me to see if there might be a niche for me in a field and department in which I had already invested a fair amount of time. And honestly, had a marketing opportunity outside the company come up at that time, more than likely I would’ve taken it.

Then one day, a new supervisor came onto the scene and she did what no one else had. No disrespect intended towards my early colleagues; in all fairness I never did express a desire to grow in HR, b ut this supervisor took the extra step. Instead of just accepting that I didn’t want to grow in this field, she sat me down and told me she saw a lot of potential in me, and asked me what I wanted to do. If I could create my perfect job in HR, what would it look like?  And guess what? She listened to me and made it happen. She gave me a chance to function in a role that encompassed parts of HR that I didn’t know much about, didn’t really even realize could be the focus of any job, much less my job, and little by little I started to love it.

Years later, I’m still at that same company and I’m functioning in a role with more influence and responsibility that I could have ever envisioned myself in back then, at least not in the HR field. Now, I can’t imagine doing anything else.  That supervisor is no longer with the company, but she gave me my start and connected me to supervisors and peers that have been an incredible influence on me personally and professionally. I owe the direction of my career to that one simple conversation.

As HR pros, we interact with many, many people every day. We have the power to influence people’s lives and careers for better or for worse. I ask you to never doubt the power and influence you have over the people around you – whether it be as a supervisor, mentor, HR pro or all three. 

I’ve never forgotten the power one person had in changing my life and career for the better. I can only hope that I am able to pay it forward and can have that kind of influence on just one other person in the course of my career. 

That type of power is priceless.

Photo credit iStockphoto

Recently, Robin Schooling wrote an interesting post about being single in a married workplace. In it, she posed the question of whether or not being a single woman in a primarily married world hindered one’s opportunity for advancement into leadership positions.  

Being a single woman myself, I related to much of what Robin questioned. And though I’m still not sure whether or not I believe that to be true as I have seen unmarried women rise to high positions, I do believe there are challenges that come along with the territory.

What I’ve experienced is a variation on that theme. Here are the facts: I’m a young, single woman working amongst primarily married or otherwise “coupled up” folks.  I am also a social person who enjoys interacting with co-workers outside of the office every now and then. I’ve spent a good majority of my career thus far completely single and haven’t paraded around many boyfriends at company events.

Because of this, over the years I’ve found myself the subject of at least a few rumors that have paired me off with various co-workers, of both the unmarried AND married sort.  Some of these rumors I’ve found out about months, sometimes even years later.  It seems that in this married world in which I work, there are at least some individuals who find it impossible to believe that a young, single girl could possibly maintain that relationship status of her own choosing, so by default MUST be involved with someone.  And apparently my proximity to various male co-workers at social outings must be reason enough to pair me with them.

For the most part, these rumors have not bothered me. After all, I know them to be untrue, and believe that those who matter also know or believe them to be untrue. But there is always the concern that rumors could mar one’s reputation, and that what I’ve worked to build, the effort I’ve put into my career successes thus far, could be tarnished by a few unsavory whispers at the water cooler.

So what’s a single girl to do?  Is no reaction the best reaction?

The approach I’ve chosen in these times has been to keep my head held high and walk with the confidence and knowledge of who I am, what I’ve contributed, and what is and isn’t true about my personal life. I am not going to change who I am, or stop being social because a select few choose to perpetuate the rumor mill. I’ve chosen to believe that this too shall pass; my contributions speak for themselves, and those that matter won’t get caught up in it.

What do you think is the best approach?

Photo credit iStockphoto

 By now, many of you have heard about the big shift in astrological signs. 

It seems that astronomers have confirmed that due to slight changes in the Earth’s alignment and position in relation to the Sun over the past 3000 years, the sign that the sun was in when you were born – your astrological sign that supposedly determines attributes of your personality and is the basis for your horoscope readings – may actually be wrong. 

And, oh yeah, there may actually be 13 signs instead of 12 if you add in the new one “Ophiuchus” which ancient Babylonians apparently decided to conveniently throw out in favor of symmetry.

Because of this shift, many people are experiencing what amounts to an identity crisis of sorts.  People posting all over Facebook and Twitter are expressing confusion, sadness, or even outrage with comments such as “What do you mean I’m now a Leo, I’ve always been a Virgo!” and “No way, I’m totally a Gemini and will continue to be!” and “What the heck even is a Ophiuchus?”

Many people I know, whether they believe in horoscopes and astrological readings or not, identify with their sign and feel they mirror the attributes associated with it.  I’ve always been a Sagittarius and have always thought that many of the attributes of a typical Sag describe me exactly. 

But now we find ourselves faced with the fact that maybe we aren’t really these signs after all. Does that mean we now have to stop acting like them?

That got me thinking.

If the astrological signs that we’ve always believed ourselves to be may actually be wrong, yet we still feel we fit the attributes associated with them, how much of that behavior is actually learned?  Do we begin to exhibit those qualities because we’re supposed to fit that mold? 

Likewise, does that happen in the business world too?  Do we develop certain leadership qualities or a specific work personality because it’s what’s expected of us in our particular corporate cultures?  Or, do we already possess certain qualities that either do or do not mesh with a particular culture regardless of outside influences?

How many qualities are inherent, natural attributes of our personality, and how many are learned by necessity and/or the power of suggestion? If they are in fact learned, or even partially learned, isn’t that a powerful concept? 

What if we truly have the power to change and become who we want to be and to be a person that is even more effective in our jobs, our departments, our companies?  What if  we are not held captive by who we think we are or who we think we are supposed to be?

What do you think?

Photo credit iStock Photo

I consider myself to be a fairly well-rounded, modern woman.

I enjoy bonding with the girls over fruity martinis but I also enjoy drinking beer and hanging with the guys. I like fine dining, dressing up, and attending charity events but I also love attending sporting events. I’m a football and hockey fan but I also enjoy wine tasting trips. I’ve taken up golf and have played in my share of scrambles (usually on teams with at least some men) over the past few years.

I’m comfortable in, and thrive in, a variety of situations with both women and men. And I do these things because I truly enjoy them. I am not forcing myself to do them because I think they will better my position or help me advance  my career.

Not long ago, I was attending an offsite team meeting at a local country club. Following the meeting we had a cocktail hour planned as a thank you from our senior vice president for our recent hard work on a variety of projects. As our team of women gathered on the patio on a beautiful summer afternoon, we were given a “heads up” by the wait staff that we were going to need to vacate the patio at 4:00 as it was “Men’s Night” and no women were allowed to be there. As we jokingly asked when “Ladies’ Night” was, the somber reply from the waitress was, “there is no Ladies’ Night.”

What? Seriously?

Yes, absolutely serious. Apparently “Men’s Night” is part of the club’s by-laws that go back approximately 100 years. The thing is, outdated as they may be, they are still observed. As we dutifully vacated the patio at precisely 4:00, I began thinking about the business world and practices that prolong outdated thinking. Some may call it the Good Ole Boys Club.

Women in business have come a long way. There are successful women in high places. There are female CEOs, CFOs, Senior Vice Presidents and many women that we can look up to as mentors and trailblazers. Though I work in a historically male-dominated industry, my own company has females in prominent positions and does a nice job of including women in social events, golf tournaments, etc.

However, in the dark corners of many companies’ existences, how many have unspoken practices that unconsciously or subconsciously exclude women? Especially in male-dominated industries, how many have the equivalent of “Men’s Night,” unofficial social outings, gatherings, or networking that favor men and deny women the chance to interact with their male counterparts outside of the office setting? How many perpetuate the existence of the Good Ole Boys Club – maybe not intentionally, but in reality because of practice?

As a modern woman who enjoys socializing with men as well as women in a variety of settings, “Men’s Night” was appalling. That I may be excluded from certain social opportunities, denied the opportunity to participate in activities that I enjoy regardless of who is involved because I am a women, greatly disappoints me. I can’t help but wonder how the patio situation would have been handled had we been a group of both men and women?

Women of HR readers, what do you think? Are these outdated practices still more common than we’d like to admit? And how do we move beyond this? I’d love to hear your thoughts.