It happens to all of us in HR at some point in our lives.  We find ourselves caught in an awkward position at work and we ask ourselves, “What is the best response here?”

I am talking about situations where compassion is needed, but with extenuating circumstances.  You’ve encountered the scenario before.  An employee confides something deeply personal:

• A health issue
• A break-up
• Bankruptcy
• An unexpected pregnancy

She is coming to you not really as a friend, but as someone who she thinks can help her.  She wants:

• Advice
• A break
• Support
• Shelter

She doesn’t know or understand the awkward position this possibly puts you in.  The information she provides may or may not be true.  You know that:

• Her supervisor is at his wits end because her performance is so poor
• She was late again three times this week
• The organization doesn’t have a warm and fuzzy culture with flexibility
• There are impending layoffs and her employment is at risk

What are your responsibilities in this situation?  How involved should you be?  How do you protect company interests while being a human being?

Human resources practitioners are not registered psychologists or social workers.  We are not “Mother Theresa”.  For most of us, our employers do not want or expect us to be advocates for the downtrodden, but we are expected to be kind, helpful and looking for the win-win.  We do not have a magic wand.  Therefore suffice to say that there are no clear cut answers about the level of compassion we need to provide in these tough situations, only possible approaches.

Here are some things you can do:

1. To the extent possible, help her find professional help.  Does your benefit plan offer an EAP?  Are there help lines or government services available?  Is counseling a covered benefit?  Keep abreast of the resources available to a person in need and share them freely.  Short lists are better than single resources.  Encourage her to make the call.  That way, you don’t have to give advice or get overly involved.
2. Are there small things you can do?  Can she borrow your office for 20 minutes to get her composure or to make a private call?  Is there some small token you have that you can give to her to show her that you and the Company care?
3. Be clear about what you can and can’t keep confidential and your channel of communication within the organization.  For most employees, the role of HR is unclear, which in many cases leads to the risk that an employee won’t come and see us out of fear or mistrust, even when it is prudent that they do so.
4. Encourage her to be discrete about whom she confides in about the circumstances.  The workplace is full of people who are your frenemies.  Your Company has policies regarding fair treatment but you can’t control everything.   While it has become commonplace for stars to rise out of their personal meltdowns, it is more difficult for the rest of us to do so.   Also a privately-managed issue will likely result in less workplace disruption.
5. Be clear about the conundrum created when personal information like this is shared with someone in HR.  Ask for clarity on the reasons she came to you and what she expects your involvement to be. Be clear about what you can and can’t do for her.
6. With regards to how the personal situation impacts her job, encourage her to speak with her Supervisor and to be open to possible solutions.  Offer to open the discussion with the Supervisor if you feel there may be a risk that the Supervisor may not handle the situation in a manner appropriate to the circumstances.  If it is possible, try to create clarity about the continuing performance expectations and work through strategies to address them.  Try to keep to as much of a third-party approach as possible.
7. Get legal advice as needed.  There are a myriad of potential challenges that could present themselves if down the line she is terminated. It could be construed that you used the knowledge gained in the circumstances inappropriately with undesirable consequences.

Above all, be genuine.  The success of the outcome is in direct relation to your ability to:

• Be compassionate
• Think on your feet
• Keep your head
• See it through

Good luck!

Photo credit iStockphoto

Students and clients come in and out of my office with the common agenda: the intent to talk about career transition.  These transition goals can take many shapes, such as moving from a generalist role to an analyst role, moving from a specialist to a manager, and often segueing out of one function and into another (think finance to marketing).

Regardless of the type of change they are looking to make, my advice is always the same: Get Your Story Straight.

When you are seeking to drastically alter your job responsibilities and are hoping someone will have enough faith in you to know that you can successfully make that leap (on their dime) you better have a compelling story.

Your pitch should outline three major points:

Why you want to make the change.

I often liken a great positioning statement to a funnel.  This is your story, but not your story as told to a new acquaintance at an office party.  It is your story extremely focused on how it relates to the position you are seeking. Every sentence you share should have a purpose in that it moves you towards the end goal of X position or Y company.  Irrelevant information (undergrad major if completely different than goal, a timeline of every job you have had and all major responsibilities, where you lived for a brief stint) have no place in this statement.  Instead share bits of information that help the listener understand more about why you want this role and why that is interesting.  For example:

Having grown up in rural Minnesota, the farming industry was a key economic force in my town and I have had a keen interest in this area since I drove my first tractor on my uncle’s farm.  After graduating with my MBA I plan to take this interest and passion to the grain industry in a finance role where I can utilize my previous analyst experience in a strategy role to impact the growth of an industry so rooted in small town America.

Proven success in core competencies of this new role

Pepper your positioning statement with ke

y achievements that showcase the skills necessary for success in the desired role.  Instead of saying you want a role in consumer insights because you are data driven, prove it by stating “I quickly learned my knack for analysis after spearheading a project where we analyzed seasonal purchasing data to better understand consumer trends when planning our customer incentive programs for the winter holidays.”

Conversation points to show you have researched the company:

The theme of your story should consistently display your knowledge and understanding of your desired company, industry, or function.  A former financial analyst who is looking for a business development role at an interactive marketing company should make sure the story shared includes a passion for the impacts social media is making on business, an interest in marketing analytics and an appreciation for a start-up culture.

Networking and interviewing is all about relationship building and successful story sharing.  When in a job function transition it is imperative that you have a story that weaves together past experience and education in a way that explains why you are looking for a different role and more importantly why you are qualified for this new opportunity.  Finally, don't be afraid to own your story.  I have found that those that can successfully combine honesty and relavancy often are the most likely to land the best positions for their skill sets and in the long run are the most satisfied employees.

About the author: Maggie Tomas works at the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota as Associate Director and Career Coach in the Graduate Business Career Services office. Her background includes teaching and career counseling at the college level, namely at the University of St. Thomas, University of California Santa Barbara, and  Brooks Institute, where she served as Director of Career and Student Services.  She is a contributing writer to several blogs and publications including Opus Magnum, Women of HR, and Job Dig.

I was chatting with a colleague over coffee discussing how stressful 2012 was. We chatted about the targets we missed, the challenges we faced, and we went on and on with an amazing crystal clear memory of everything we knew we could have done better. We suddenly stopped and gazed astonishingly at each other. Just the day before, both of us were awarded by the CEO for our achievements in 2012. And here we were, less than 24 hours later, sounding like total quitters instead of behaving as winners.

When did we learn to become so harsh on ourselves and why do we do that to ourselves?

I went home thinking whether this has got to do with us women so passionately engulfed with proving ourselves and our capabilities in the workplace. In the midst of it all, have we become blind to our success stories that we fail to promote them, celebrate them and more alarmingly, reward ourselves for them?

The answer is an unfortunate, “yes” and this is a fact regardless of which part of the world we come from, our culture or our background. Women are raised to constantly watch what they say, cautioned against strong personalities, taught to remain low key, to name a few.

There is a plethora of business literature and research describing the challenges women put up with in the corporate world due to stereotypes and perceptions, male dominance, limited opportunities, lower wages compared to male colleagues and the reasons behind it all. As undoubtedly and genuinely that these challenges exist, it is not my intention here to go over these. My real aim is to initiate our thinking process by asking ourselves the following question,

“What has each one of us done to bring a change to our situation?”

Let’s face it, for a lot of us, we fear being judged so we react in manners that may further contribute to our withdrawal into our own caves rather than pushing us out into the front rows. Here are some of the behaviors we should consider reshaping, changing and even stopping those which are nothing but self-sabotage:

• You quietly and eagerly wait to be assigned to a project. You know you can do it, so you hope that your boss recognizes that. Wrong. Go after the opportunity when you see it, do not wait for it to knock on your door. This will do miracles if you are a team leader. It reaffirms you as leader of the pack.
• You dread to fail even before starting. You become risk averse and dare not to think out of the box
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  . Think again. It’s perfectly ok if you fail. Failure is all about lessons learned and can only make you stronger. Your resilience level is an indication of your leadership skills. So even when you fail use it to your advantage.

• You do not celebrate your success. You achieve a difficult target, and if you are lucky enough your boss recognizes that, otherwise, your achievements go unnoticed. Whilst it’s not realistic to ask for that pat on the back every time you lift a pen, please stop being modest and reserved when it comes to major accomplishments. Celebrate your success with your team, family, and even friends. Be self-appreciative before you ask others to appreciate you.
• You are quiet in meetings. Do you offer your opinion only when asked to?  Or do you not know when – or how – to interject in a conversation? Time for a change here, too. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Yes it can feel very intimidating at first but by practicing the use of some idioms in the right context such as “I’m thinking out loud” or “I’m playing the devil’s advocate here”, or “it might be a silly question…” will help you overcome this fear and seamlessly insert you in the discussion. You owe it to yourself and your team to let your opinion be heard.

Don’t be afraid to disagree on a business related matter as long as you do it in a professional manner. If you want to point out a wrong thing being said, do that without being offensive or defensive. Discussions can sometimes be aggressive, so avoid emotional pitfalls. And whatever you do, hold those tears please. Be assertive and remain in self-control mode.

With many of us in the process of shaping our resolutions, let’s agree on making the new year our year of small but effective changes. True, it’s a long and winding road ahead of women in the business world however by being able to adapt some of our behaviors to become enablers can only be of help to us in our journey.

About the author: Hanadi El Sayyed is a Senior Human Resources Business Partner working for Majid Al Futtaim Properties, the market leader in development and management of shopping malls in the Middle East. Based in Dubai she  specialises in strategic workforce planning and development with an emphasis on corporate sustainability and sustainable development. You can reach her on Linkedin or on Twitter as@Hana_ElSayyed.

We are unwrapping some posts from the Women of HR archives for you this holiday season. Relax, enjoy and let us know if there is a favorite of yours you'd like to see unwrapped and run again.

How do you grow?

You don’t let fear get in the way of your doing what you need to do.

I have just worked through one of the hardest projects I have ever tackled in my life.  I learned so much and the stakes were VERY high. Yes, there were times that the tasks were daunting. Yes, there were times when it was scary, but it is what I needed to do, to succeed and to get through to the other side. There were times when I shut the door, whipped out the iPhone and played a few games of Sudoku just to pull my heart rate down. I was determined to do the very best I could and to make all the right decisions.

I think too often people let the fear of their own unknown capabilities stop them from doing what is needed, or it prevents them from doing quality work on a project or a task. They don’t know if they can accomplish something and they let the fear sit on that negative perspective of the challenge. Another way to look at something that you have never done before, is that now you get to learn something new. Now you get to grow.

It had been awhile since I had done something in business that really had a fear element in it for me. I remember my first trip to Europe was on a business trip that I did all by myself. It scared me.  All the firsts I had on that trip drove my adrenalin. I have never been afraid of travel to anywhere or into

any situation since then. I gained confidence. I remember the first international and the first $100,000+ deals I negotiated. They both made me nervous but they have lead me to relish, not fear, every customer conversation, the big deals and meeting anyone with any title from any walk of life.

I don’t really like the expression ‘facing your fears’ because that gives your fear a shape and presence that makes it even bigger. I think we need an expression more along the lines of “climb above your fear.” This keeps the awareness that we need to respect the trepidation, while using the endorphins to lift us up higher.

So the lesson I have now firmly cemented into my heart is that it is OK to have a fear of something if you use that fear to heighten your awareness and improve your performance. When you come out the other side of a project that  intimidated you, you will have increased confidence and a new perspective.

It’s called experience and it is earned.

About the author: Lois Melbourne, GPHR, is CEO and co-founder of the global workforce planning and analytics solutions company Aquire, mom to one terrific young son and wife of co-founder Ross Melbourne. She maintains a strong personal commitment to career education and small business development and is a frequent speaker, author of industry articles, and an avid blogger and networker. Connect with her on Twitter as @loismelbourne.

Photo credit iStockphoto

Power dressing can never be understated in the corporate world and we all know that. Coined in the latter part of the 1970, the term “power dressing” has been the dressing style of  those wanting to reflect a professional image, an elite status, influence and authority.

The impact of looking important on one’s career progression became a factor not to ignore by both men and women. While men have learned to master the dress game earlier and faster than women, one could argue though that sharply dressed or not, there are many obstacles women have to overcome in their struggle to rise up the food chain. My intention in this post is to draw us women’s attention to an important topic for some reason we still tend to ignore or let’s say not give it its real weight: Dressing for Success.

I was raised in a culture where knowing how to dress is crucial for success in every aspect of your life, personal and professional. You are free to disagree with this philosophy, I only base this on my personal experience how I have seen this at play.

As a Human Resource Business Partner, I realize it is not an easy journey for women to grow in the corporate realm. I also learned however that women must get their heads around some small yet effective ‘weaponry’ that could only make this journey a bit less painful.

Here are just a few tips and advices I have accumulated as Human Resources professional for each woman who reads this post to seriously consider:

1. First impressions are real. And they last forever. Trust me. Research the employer and plan what to dress ahead of time before that interview. And whatever you decide to wear, ALWAYS make sure it falls in the ‘professional’ category.
2. No jea
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   ns please! I’m a true disbeliever of ‘casual days’ especially if your organization is of conservative nature.

3. Conservative organization or not, and unless you’ve got a fab bod and work in a modeling agency, avoid mini skirts and tight skimpy dresses, low necklines and revealing clothes. I am not sure you can even wear them if you work in a modeling agency.
4. Suit up when you are not sure what to wear for that important meeting. You can never go wrong when in a suit.
5. Don’t be afraid to accessorize. Make sure it suits you and goes with your outfit though. NO noisy bracelets. They are very annoying.
6. Corporate dressing doesn’t have to be monochrome unless your company dress code states that. Otherwise research fashion trends and choose what best suits you and your corporate culture. Know your colors.
7. Check what the company dress code is and abide by it. It’s there for a reason.

Learning how to dress is an art worth mastering by both men and women. However, a word of caution here. This will never replace the fundamental role of individual performance, which remains by far the most determinant factor for career progression.

About the author: Hanadi El Sayyed is a Senior Human Resources Business Partner working for Majid Al Futtaim Properties, the market leader in development and management of shopping malls in the Middle East. Based in Dubai she  specialises in strategic workforce planning and development with an emphasis on corporate sustainability and sustainable development. You can reach her on Linkedin or on Twitter as@Hana_ElSayyed.

Photo credit: iStockphoto

It’s common sense (well it should be anyway!) that job seekers shouldn’t bad mouth former employers on a job interview.

However, when you’re looking for a new job, there’s always a good reason for it and you should be honest — in a professional way.  I’m not talking about getting into an hour-long drama explaining how tired you are of the office politics.

I read an article where the author stated you should use the following reasons to explain why you want to leave your current employer:

• Seeking new opportunities
• Looking for more responsibility
• Interested in career advancement

Don’t get me wrong – these are very viable reasons to look for a new gig.  But they’ve been around for eons and are ultra cliche!  Everyone who doesn’t want to talk about the fact that they hate their boss will use one of these reasons.  If one of these reasons are legit for you, skip the cliche and just provide an example.  For instance, share an experience about why you’re ready to tackle new responsibilities and how it will add value to an organization.

Unless the person interviewing you has just fallen off of a turnip truck or is on their first day of the job, they’ll want to know more.  It’s best if it comes from you rather than having the interviewer make an incorrect assumption about you or your work.

And what if you really are leaving your job because you hate your boss.  Is it best to be honest?  Well, we’d like to think we could be because there is a laundry list of bad bosses out there.  But, like it or not, perception is reality and you’ll be judged way too harshly if you were that honest.  In this case, my suggestion would be to think of the second biggest reason of why you want to leave your position and go from there.

The most important thing to remember is to be your real, unscripted self.

Photo credit: stock.xchng

About the author: Kimberly Roden is an HR pro turned consultant and the founder of Unconventional HR.  She has 25 years of progressive experience as a strategic HR and business leader.  Her hands-on and innovative approach allows her to create and deliver HR solutions to meet business challenges and needs by managing human capital, talent acquisition and technology.

In the world of job seeking and resume writing, gaps in your employment history can make recruiters question you several times and think many times over before offering you a job. Everyone is aware of this and employment gaps are big stress factors for job seekers today.

Despite the fact the economy is recovering, job hunting is still a full-time job for many people. Job seekers quickly realize that they are at their most vulnerable point in life, and anything in the resume that sticks out will only cause more fear and stress for them. This stress can make them think illogically and differently from their usual pattern.

In many cases, it is the resulting panic of an applicant seeing a job gap that causes the most problems. There will always be certain uncalled and unplanned events in a person’s life. These events, like sick or dying relatives/family members, maternity/arrival of a baby, and layoffs, can bring about a big gap in your resume. Such gaps can surface no matter how hard you work, how responsible you are, or how diligently you plan your life. The key to overcoming such gaps is to not let it hurt you when you are searching for a job.

Remember that being out of work for a period of time does not mean you cannot keep yourself busy. Keeping busy means more than just staying at home and watching TV or playing sports. It means staying involved with your profession. This can help cover up the job gap and helps you re-enter the field where you work. It also keeps your knowledge updated and skills sharp.

Here are some tips to help you active in your profession and busy without a job:

1. Take classes on subjects related to your profession.
2. Volunteer in a related organization or mentor others.
3. Attend semi
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   nars and read trade journals and other publications in your field.

4. Write literature about your subjects within your field of work. You can write for papers or magazine publications or even post them on blogs.
5. Look for consulting projects/assignments to supplement your knowledge. You could end up gaining full-time positions as a result of a project.

If you have been working as a freelancer during the job gap, make sure you add the necessary details in your resume. Write down the assignment or project dates, functions, client names, and other relevant information. In short, treat your freelance work as you would treat a regular job.

If you have a large job gap to deal with, you could try experimenting with a functional resume or a chrono-functional one instead of a traditional chronological resume. Remember, however, that some employers and recruiters red-flag such resumes because they suggest that the applicant is trying to hide something. Chronological resumes are universally preferred because recruiters can easily read them and get the necessary information about an applicant.

Above all, remember to keep your network of contacts active before you need them as they can be very helpful in your search for a new position. Gaps happen. Prepare for them now.

About the author: Maggie Larson is a master’s level career counselor and an internationally certified as a Career Management Practitioner (CMP) by the Institute for Career Certification International. She was also recognized as a National Certified Counselor (NCC) through the National Board for Certified Counselors. You can check out her site at ResumeIndex.com

Photo credit: iStockphoto

I have a passion for mentoring.  I have been helped by so many people to move from a small town student from Missouri to leading an international firm with some of the greatest employees in the world.  I have experienced mentors that have moved in and out of my life and I have mentors who have been part of my life since I was 18 and remain touch stones of reality.  These gifts from wisdom from mentors have made small and enormous differences in my life and the life of my teams.  I spend all of my volunteer efforts towards various types of mentoring.

I started hearing about a group called The Levo League and am very impressed. Launched in March 2012 and based in New York, the Levo League is a social network for young professional women. It offers resources including a job opportunities board, mentorship programs and Q&A video sessions. Here is an interesting quote from a Wired article, The League of Extraordinary Women, from Levo League cofounder and CEO, Caroline Ghosn:

“We are not exclusive to women but we offer solutions for career issues commonly faced by young women,” says Ghosn. “For instance, a man will apply for a job if he has about 50 to 60 percent of the requirements. A woman will only apply if she fulfills 90 to 100 per cent. These are behaviors that we have to unlearn.”

I thought this was interesting and realized that I have seen many women that could benefit from reaching out to mentors and learning how they got where they are.  I have seen counterproductive career moves in both genders.  Sometimes hindsight is the way to see the woes of our ways.  The only way to typically get a hindsight view is by talking to somebody who has “been there, done that.

Grappling with why you are successful with one thing yet not with another is a tough place to be. There are no easy answers.

You have to make sense of it on your own and the process of evaluation and analysis takes time and yields no definitive answers. When you see results, you may believe that these results happen as a result of certain occurrences but sometimes, these results are achieved despite these occurrences. Sometimes things happen that reinforce whatever you believe to be the case, but in fact, these things happen despite whatever you do.

I find that it is the journey more than anything else that determines the success or results achieved. The journey calls for the examined life. If you find that you are achieving success in certain areas more than others, I would hazard a guess that it because of the following :

• You want it. You’re prepared to spend the time on this area because you see the value in what you’re doing and therefore, you are not willing to leave it to chance or circumstance.

• You practice. Success comes with trial and error. It also comes with time, effort and persistence. How much time and effort varies but you will find that the fact that you have spent the time and effort on one thing, far more than with others, will generate the returns.

• You experienced joy. If you enjoy doing something, the process and the journey are all that more palatable. This feeds right back into the process and in turn, the learning cycle is one of passion, interest and joy.

• You're a natural. What activities can you happily spend much time on and not feel the time go by? These are activities that may come naturally to you and, more often than not, are fun for you. You achieve success and the increased level of success keeps your momentum going.

• You are mindful. Where your mind is, action occurs. If something is important to you, it affects the actions you take. Therefore, keep your goals keep in your present state of mind literally all  the time. Once you accept the road you need to be on, you will see things that
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  previously you had not. That affects everything. Everything.

• You embrace challenge. It is completely possible to avoid the challenges you know you need to embrace in order to improve, or to get real skill. However, once you have made the switch mentally, your world opens up (almost as if the stars align) and you find that you ‘see’ things you didn’t see before.

• You build a support system. Once you are committed to doing something, once you’ve set yourself up on a particular road, inevitably, you will line things up to support you on your journey. All these little things add up and strengthen the process.

What am I really saying?

I am asking you to clarify your thoughts.
I am asking you to make a decision and not sit on the fence, leaving the ebb and flow of your life to chance because you have the ability and the opportunity to drive your journey.
And you should do that.

About the author: Rowena Morais is the Editor of HR Matters Magazine. A lawyer by training, Rowena left practice to embrace her entrepreneurial spirit and has not looked back since. She maintains a blog at Rowena Morais Posterous.

Photo credit iStockphoto

Almost seven years ago, I needed a new receptionist. I interviewed half a dozen candidates, with many different skills and abilities from right out of school to years of work experience. The person I hired was a recent college graduate.

Yes, there were candidates with more experience. Why did I chose the way I did? When she sat across from me, doing her best to convince me to give her a chance, she didn’t tell me she would be the perfect receptionist. What she told me, with her eyes sparkling,  back straight, and with great pride, was that she had drive and determination and would not remain a receptionist.

It would have been easier on me in the long run to choose someone who was seemingly content to be a receptionist long-term. However, I don’t believe that does the company (or the person) any favors. We were pretty small at the time, with about 25 employees. I knew we would double in size pretty quickly and we would need people in the wings to step forward and assume different tasks.

I can’t say it was smooth sailing, because it wasn’t. Our personalities are very different and we did clash often. Fairly or not, her coworkers initially thought of her as an airhead party girl. She was impatient, chomping at the bit to do more, make more, to simply move forward.

She went back to school while working for us full-time. She earned a Master’s Degree. Along the way, she mellowed a bit. She moved into a data-entry role. She paid attention to what was happening in the office, and studied the interactions of her coworkers. When an opportunity in our merchant relations area came available, she was ready.

Today, she is a Sales Executive. She is rocking her new role. She’s making a direct impact on our bottom line, and she’s having fun doing it. I haven’t been her boss in years, and thankfully we don’t clash the way we used to. I took a chance on the young lady with stars in her eyes when I hired her. I was looking to the future, and I’m so glad I did.

Photo credit: iStockphoto

About the author: April Kunzelman, PHR, is a Human Resources executive with a wide range of experience in many aspects of personnel management. Currently, she serves as the Director of HR for fatwallet.com, an online resource community for savvy shoppers. April launched the non-profit organization Chemo Cargo, aimed at assisting first-time chemotherapy patients. Connect with April on Twitter as @akunzel and @chemocargo.