Being a stay at home mom has its perks – you don’t have to get dressed up, you can work out on your own schedule, and you don’t need to have the children’s lunch ready at 7 a.m. However, the most amazing and obvious benefit of being a stay at home mom is the opportunity to intimately know your children and to share all of the milestones of their young lives. No one can truly understand and love a child like their parent. Choosing to stay at home had its financial and career limiting consequences, but it’s a choice that I will never regret.

Being a stay at home mom however does not mean that you must put your brain or skills on hold. Especially in today’s modern world where there are countless ways for you to expand your horizons. And that’s exactly what I did. After driving many, many miles to practices, games, lessons and recitals, making sure that the homework was done and dinner was prepared, I spent countless late nights looking on the computer for ideas to sharpen my skills, and technology is what I came to love.

I am a problem solver. I love when I am given a challenge; know how to fix it, and how to fix it better. It started with setting up my own home wifi network. To most of my friends and co-workers, it’s probably no big deal, but in the stay at home mom arena – I was “big stuff”. Everyone wanted to know, “ how did I know how to do that?” Before I knew it, I was helping my neighbor, her friend, and then their elderly parents. And so began my journey, I became even more motivated to challenge myself. From school sports teams to the theatre department, the needs, as well as the expertise grew. I taught myself HTML, CSS, and how to create a Joomla site.

With each growing project a new skill such as Photoshop and Gimp emerged. I began to get noticed and was offered a position by my local principal in the Career Tech Department. The launching pad was perfect, it allowed me to further develop my skills and opened my eyes to the world of other opportunities out there. With my newly minted resume, an opportunity presented itself. The Global HR consulting firm, Exaserv, was looking for a Product Manager and the job description fit me perfectly. Some of the main requirements were organizational skills and the ability to prioritize, and all those years of being a stay at home mom had definitely helped to hone those skills. Not to mention my developed computer expertise!

It’s been over a year now since I’ve been back in the workforce and I have loved every day of employment. I am constantly learning and growing in my new role and enjoy all the “doors” that are opening for me. Staying at home to raise my children was the best decision I ever made, but taking that time to also sharpen my skills has given me the opportunity to go back to work and grow my career. It’s an experience for which I will forever be grateful.

About the author: Sophia Lidback is Product Manager at Exaserv, where her responsibilities include managing product development, writing and editing technical and functional user manuals and managing customer relations with respect to product implementation.  Sophia is a wife and mother of 4.

I happen to have a propensity for guilt.  Although I am not sure of the origins of this tendency to own every hiccup in life, I battle it daily.  Add that I am a working mother of two small girls and this doesn’t help with my guilt ridden personality.

When it comes to being a working mom, I often cannot quite tell what exactly I feel so guilty about. Do I regret not having as much time as I would like with my girls?  Or am I feeling badly about the fact that I like my job,  that it satisfies a core part of my personality? If the latter, what kind of mother does that make me?

I would like to think that every mom feels just like I do but the fact is they don’t.  I have some amazing women in my life who are strong and confident in their choices to excel at work and raise really likable children.  These women are wonderful examples to me and their advice helps me curb the guilt.

Recently I had coffee with a girlfriend who is not only successful but is raising two adorable boys. I asked her to share insight on how she gets through the day without nagging bouts of self-reproach.

• Stop apologizing for your choices. Yes you work. Yes you like it. Yes you love your kids. All of these things can go together without competing (well most of the time-perhaps not when you have to call in sick because your 2 year old caught some awful version of the stomach bug). Change your perspective and focus on what a great example you can be to your children by modeling work ethic, passion, and drive.  These are important traits to possess and who better to teach your children than you?
• Be true to who you are. Follow your own path and not a prescribed path you think is correct.  There are so many ways to “mommy” children. Do it your way and you will feel better about it.  I spent the first year of my oldest daughter’s life trying to prescribe to every sleep ritual out there. None of them felt right to me and none of them worked well for my daughter. Once I accepted the fact that the
  

I was late in the game with technology.  While my friends and family were readily downloading apps and taking adorable vintage photos with Instagram, it took me years to embrace the smartphone. I also was slow to get excited by the DVR I nowadays swear by. How else can I have Elmo on hand for my 3-year-old and Modern Family ready and waiting for me when I have a free 30 minutes to spare?

I held firm to my stance that I wasn’t a tech girl and would much prefer to write down my schedule and leave email at work. . . blah, blah, blah.  That changed the day I actually succumbed and decided on a smartphone when upgrade time  rolled around. I declared my choice was solely based on the ability to take cute pictures of my daughters but secretly I wanted in on the club and I wanted to know what all the fuss was about.  I told my husband a week later that the iPhone changed my life.  He smirked and had an “I told you so” look.

I am now leaning on technology more and more because as a working mom of 2 toddlers I will take all the help I can get.  Here are a few reasons why I encourage all of my mom clients to jump on the tech train and never look back:

1. Branding:  Get involved online and build your presence this way by participating in LinkedIn, tweeting great articles and writing engaging blog posts. Nothing will shave time off of in-person networking like a great online presence.
2. Ease Workday Load:  Family dinner is important to me.  I leave at 4:45 unless I have a class to teach. Period.  The only way this is possible for me is because I can pull out my laptop and get 2 hours of work done after my girls are cozily sleeping in bed.
3. Scheduling: No need to waste time calling my husband to see if we can meet friends for dinner, volunteer with the youth group or schedule a play date on Saturday. I can simply check his calendar, compare it to mine and I have my answer. Total time saver. I have friends who take it a step further and register with an online family organizer and swear by it.  Remember the Milk and Cozi are 2 highly recommended apps.
4. Connecting/Sharing:  My family lives in California.  I live in the Midwest.  Thank God for programs like Skype, Facebook and Instagram that enable me to quickly get a dose of home updates so I can then attend to my other responsibilities.  The connect
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   ing aspect of technology is also helpful for moms who work at large corporations.  Many Fortune 500 companies have “mom boards” where employees can share tips ranging from best nursing locations in the building to offering up used baby goods.

5. Kid Friendly: Those of us who have waited for food to arrive at a restaurant with a toddler, spent 2 plus hours on a flight with an 18 month old, or taken a preschooler to the DMV for a license renewal – all while armed with a smart phone or iPad – know the value in technology. It allows us to get through a boring task without a tantrum while our child is entertained with an educational game. I’m not encouraging letting your iPad babysit your child, but I am the first to admit that it is useful in certain scenarios.

This list could go on with relevant tips and suggestions on how turning to technology can actually ease a mom’s to-do list. There is one caveat though:

Technology can be a time zapper and a great way to lose focus of your #1  priority – your kids.

Something I have found that works for me and prevents me from answering my email on my smartphone while playing Candyland with my preschooler (which makes her feel like my last priority when all she wants is my undivided attention as she nabs the Queen Frostine card) is to put my phone and computer away until the kids are in bed. I often leave my smartphone in my purse when I come home from work and don’t take it out until they are tucked away sleeping.  This helps eliminate the chance of mom getting distracted and shows my girls that family time is first.

As with anything, balance is key but honestly, a life with technology and all the help it can provide, does ease many stressful situations and can make family planning much easier.

What types of technology do you find helps with your work/life balance?

Photo credit: iStockphoto

About the author: Maggie Tomas works at the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota as Associate Director and Career Coach in the Graduate Business Career Services office. Her background includes teaching and career counseling at the college level, namely at the University of St. Thomas, University of California Santa Barbara, and  Brooks Institute, where she served as Director of Career and Student Services.  She is a contributing writer to several blogs and publications including Opus Magnum, Women of HR and Job Dig.

As busy HR professionals we use the word focus in many ways, whether it be in terms of what project we need to focus on next, what the focus of our next meeting should be or where our overall focus should be to keep in line with strategy.

What if we find ourselves having trouble with focus in the more literal sense though?  We have very full schedules to maintain, and at some point we may lose sight of what is at the center of our day and miss a cue. Here are some tips that I employ to keep my productivity up when I find myself having trouble zeroing in on the task at hand:

Get organized.  If your mind is racing and all you can think about is everything else you need to accomplish it will be hard to give your full attention to what you need to work on right now.  Take a few minutes to organize your work area and update your to-do list.  Prioritize, update deadlines if necessary and cross off tasks you’ve completed.  When you have things in order it is easier to give your full attention to one specific item on the list so you can complete it and move on to the next.

Get a small project out of the way.  Now that you are organized look at your list and see if there is something simple you can cross off right away.  Perhaps there is an email that can be easily answered, a meeting quickly scheduled or some papers cluttering your desk that can be filed.  Knowing that you got something accomplished, no mat

ter how small it may be, will give you a boost of confidence to tackle something bigger.

Refuel and recharge.  Think back to your last meal; did you skip it altogether or was it not satisfying?  If your stomach is grumbling or you are feeling light-headed it will be tough to make progress in your work.  Take time to eat lunch or fit in a small snack.  With the proper nourishment we have the energy necessary to make it through the rest of the day.

Not hungry?  Get up and take a walk instead.  Move around the office to check in with co-workers or step outside for fresh air.  Either way, when you come back to your desk you’ll be reinvigorated and ready to tackle your inbox.

Turn on the music.  This may not work for those that require quiet to get their work completed, but I’ve always found that putting light music on in the background can drown out all of the other office noise and allow me to focus in on my work.

Everyone has a different approach to get back on track.  Find what works best for you and make your day as effective as possible.

Photo credit: iStockphoto

About the author: Heather Rose, PHR is an HR Professional with over 7 years experience supporting top organizations' HR functions. In addition to her career in HR, Heather enjoys writing about her life adventures, reading and traveling. You can connect with Heather on LinkedIn.

For the first 30 years of my life I found it easy to describe myself.  That self could encompass any range of titles, labels, or feelings depending on my role in life, position or mood. In college I was a student-server-girlfriend-vegetarian for a year. When I started working in career coaching after grad school I was a listener-mentor-a single person-yogi novice.  All of these things were defined and controlled by me and I was comfortable balancing them all.

All of that flew out the window with motherhood.

The second the obstetrician placed my beautiful and loud (doctor’s first words were “she has lungs!”) daughter into my shaking arms, I was suddenly overcome with love and purpose.  But weeks and months later I was also unsure as to what do to with all of the parts of me that made me who I was prior to becoming mother to this amazing little girl.

Motherhood was something I yearned for and very much wanted.  I read books on parenting and felt very prepared and a bit overconfident for my new role – until I officially became a mother.  Suddenly, I was questioning myself on everything: cloth or disposable, cry it out or co-sleep, organic baby blender homemade creations or the jarred store bought variety, helicopter parent or tiger mom, and the list goes on and on.  Not only was I indecisive but I was so consumed with love for this little person that I thought in order to be the best mother possible I should give up everything that defined me pre-baby and focus on this new all important role of raising a human being.

This played out by turning me into a confused, sometimes bitter, and teetering between overt self-sacrificing/bewildered that I lost my “cool pre-baby” self.  For example, my personal priorities took a nosedive as I lamented this post-baby belly yet felt guilt-ridden at the thought of hitting the gym and leaving my newborn with a sitter.  Professionally, I tried to balance everything calmly and maintain these two separate roles effectively.  I had worked hard on my career but I also loved this little baby and didn’t want to miss all the milestones while I plugged away at my computer.  I tried to have conversations with mentors and supervisors and was basically given the advice of “this career is 60+ hours a week so find a way to make it work” or “I completely understand. I remember my wife struggling but ultimately she knew family was most important so she stayed home with the kids.”  All me

ssages implicit in their meanings and all sent me, the not-so-confident mom reeling and questioning my priorities.

In time I worked on creating a career that worked for me and all of my roles.  I said goodbye to the attitude of work first and focused on finding ways to prioritize.  Now, I encourage new moms and clients to think about being both women with a unique history and distinct passions and experiences as well as mothers in love with amazing children. Personally,  I now I try to weave both aspects into every decision I make and every encounter I face.  I no longer think that being a good mother means being only a mother.  I think about how I want my girls to know who their mom is in all of my flaws and idiosyncrasies.  I focus on teaching them the value of work ethic and the importance of loving what you do by modeling this for them.  After all my greatest achievement will be raising strong independent girls who will one day have fulfilling careers of their own – girls who have many roles, including mother, and who embrace their whole selves and will raise children who do the same.

New motherhood knocks you off your feet, not only with sleepless nights and mountains of dirty diapers and laundry but with a love and adoration that is consuming.  This all-consuming love for your child can take your breath away and ask you to question all that you thought was important pre-baby.  This is normal and often necessary in the bonding process.  It is imperative, however, to journey back to finding a new normal that does incorporate some of your pre-baby traits and passions.  For some that journey is easy and comfortable.  For others, like me, it can be riddled with confusion and guilt until one day you look at yourself and decide that you must find a way to be both.

What has worked for you?

Photo credit: iStockphoto

About the author: Maggie Tomas works at the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota as Associate Director and Career Coach in the Graduate Business Career Services office. Her background includes teaching and career counseling at the college level, namely at the University of St. Thomas, University of California Santa Barbara, and  Brooks Institute, where she served as Director of Career and Student Services.  She is a contributing writer to several blogs and publications including Opus Magnum, Women of HR and Job Dig.

I am not much of a soccer fan but I did watch the final match from the Euro Soccer 2012 championships between Italy and Spain. It was an amazing win for the Spanish side and a great loss for the Italian team.

Long after the match was over, and the dust had settled, what stayed with me, what lingered in my memory was the picture of the happy, smiling and extremely confident Spanish children brought into the pitch at the end of the game.
They wore with such pride, miniature versions of their father’s red jerseys and they pranced about in the open field and played in the confetti oblivious to the mammoth crowd on every side.

It was beautiful moment.

For the life of me, I could not tear my eyes away from these happy youngsters sharing in the victory and claiming their rightful share of the Glory. They practically took over the field with their ponytails and winning smiles. As I watched them, I wondered where the children of the other team were. What would they be thinking? Would they wonder why they were still in the stands and not on the pitch? Would they grasp the enormity of the loss and would they share in that loss to the same degree as their counterparts shared in the victory?

Daily occurrences mirror life and if we take note we can glean pearls of wisdom. . .

• What choices are we making?

• What are we passing down?

• What actions are we taking that might give future generation a heads up, an edge or an advantage?<
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• What did you wish you had been given? Would you consider providing that gift?

• If we learned new skills and tried new activities, would it impact on those coming behind us positively? Would it encourage them to remain open to new knowledge and experiences?

• If we complained less and were more thankful in spite of present challenges, would we raise children with less of a sense of entitlement and more of a spirit of gratitude?

But I digress with all the rhetorical questions.

Bring your children to your field. Expose them as much as possible. Let them know and understand what it is that you do. Make them partakers of your victories and your losses. It will be an enriching experience for all concerned. Work and the home front do not have to be mutually exclusive . . . the Spanish team proved that.

Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it onto future generations. George Bernard Shaw

Photo credit: Eddie Keogh/Reuters

About the author: Tamkara Adun is proud to be a woman of HR. She has a Post Graduate Diploma in Human Resources Management from the University of London. You can connect with Tamkara on twitter @tamkara

“Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.” -Mark Twain

Maintaining health behavior change is difficult for many people. While some of us succeed at weight loss or quitting smoking, in just a few weeks or months we’re back to our bad habits. You may wonder whether there are steps you can take to keep engaging in healthy habits once you’ve adjusted your lifestyle. In fact, there are.

Weight Loss

The National Weight Control Registry is a database of more than 10,000 dieters who have lost weight and successfully maintained their weight loss. On average, the participants have maintained a weight loss of at least 30 pounds for at least a year. Researchers have examined the similarities among this group and found that they exercise more than other people and do not rely on just eating less. They also limit their time watching television and track their eating by writing down food consumption. Additionally, they eat more low-fat foods.

Staying Smoke-Free

Many of the changes you experience after quitting smoking are unpleasant. You may feel nervous, hungry and irritable as part of nicotine withdrawal symptoms, and end up returning to smoking. Oftentimes, relapse occurs after physical cravings have stopped. How can you avoid this?

• Don’t smoke at all—not even one puff.
• Avoid smoking triggers like alcohol and stress.
• Be vigilant when stressful or unusual life events occur like holidays or work lay-offs.
• Do not keep cigarettes in your house, car or office.
• If you do relapse, stay calm and return to abstinence.

A Stage of Change

A dominant model of behavior change in

the field of behavioral psychology is called the Transtheoretical Model or “stages of change.” The model includes maintenance as one of the stages of the change process, and shows that individuals may enter in and out of this stage. When thinking about maintenance, it’s important to consider relapse as just a step in the change process, rather than as failure. If you fall into your old habits for a day or two, or even for a more extended period of time, recognize that this does happen and resolve to get back on track. It’s important to view this as a minor setback and not consider yourself doomed forever. Take a look at StickK , a free online behavior change website as a resource.

Future

Maintaining behavior change is an enormous challenge. Researchers and health promotion program designers are hard at work trying to develop effective solutions for sustaining positive behaviors once individuals have adopted them. One focus in recent years has been on using mobile technology for more frequent and targeted communication. An app that helps keep you smoke-free, at a great weight and fit as a fiddle – now that’s getting closer to the Holy Grail of health behavior change!

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About the author: Courtney Hughes, PhD, is an expert in workplace wellness and disease management. She consults with companies on health promotion strategies, communications, and incentives to improve health and financial outcomes. Courtney has held research positions at major universities and has published several peer-reviewed articles. For more information, visit www.courtneyhughes.com or follow her on Twitter as @MCourtneyHughes.

What makes the difference in truly powerful leaders? How do they attract and keep loyal, committed followers? Where does their strength of conviction come from and how do we tap into it?

I believe it comes from within each of us, through a state of being I call alignment. So, what do I really mean by alignment?

Aligned individuals simply love what they do, they are good at it, and what they do and why they do it are almost always tied to a purpose greater than themselves. Once an individual is truly aligned around their purpose – and thus, they are indeed living their life on purpose – this is when and where true power is revealed and released. Their mind, body, emotions, and spirit are in harmony. There is simply no substitute for total alignment and congruency within a person or leader.

Think about it … when we see a person who truly walks their talk, whose life is a full and total manifestation of their beliefs, and whose profession is one that fully capitalizes and optimizes their gifts and talents – we see a person who is in their groove. One doesn't have to look too far for examples – they are the ones that would do their work for free and that come to work with a spring in their step. They are the ones that have a passion for their work, an intense desire to make a difference, and are centered and confident in the manner in which they choose to let this unfold. Their personal and professional goals are aligned and they remain committed to doing whatever it takes to fulfill their purpose.

It is my belief that this 'quest for alignment', like all things, is a journey not a destination. So, what are a few steps we can take to start moving toward greater alignment and authenticity of  'who we really are' as individual leaders? In this article, I am offering a few baby steps to help us start down the path of revealing who we really are and what we really want.

• Observe when we are really 'in the zone.' You know what I mean: when we are fulfilled, happy, and energized, when our heart is singing, we are in the zone and 'in the flow.' Pay attention to these moments. They are whispers revealing the 'real me'. We need to get to know this person; and give ourselves freedom to be who we are. Let all things flow from there. This can be such a revealing process. Pay attention to that little voice inside. It may come as a question in the middle of the night, or as crystal clear as a voice in the shower. The voice is our soul – it is our core and it is the pure essence of what and who we are meant to be. Heed it.
• Create time for solitude. There is nothing like quiet time to shut out the noise of our day to day lives. Often, when we are searching for 'something to fill a void,' we surround ourselves with people, things, and activities. We over schedule and over program our lives. This 'busyness' clutters the air waves. Stop. Be at home. Feed the birds. Read a novel. Watch a movie. Turn off the car radio. Be with YOU … just like with others, the more time we spend with ourselves, the better we will get to know ourselves. I have also found that keeping a journal is amazingly enlightening. This may be a stretch for some who are reading this article – that is ok. Even if you only write down only one or two thoughts you have – when you have them – it is amazing how they will grow and multiply in your mind's eye. It is a great way to reflect on your day, the lessons learned, the observations of yourself and others. It is like living it 'over' in some ways – which is incredibly powerful.
• Stay connected. This may appear contradictory to being alone; yet, it is not. We are all connected. We are all part of the same energy of this world. To really define ourselves and get to know ourselves, we do this in relation to others. As the cliché says: “if you really want to know yourself and all your idiosyncrasies – be in a relationship!” How
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  true this is. So, yes, we need both solitude and community to truly enlarge and embrace our sense of self. By staying present in the moment, some of our greatest teachers will be revealed. As the Buddhist proverb says, 'When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.'  I have found this can be through the random encounters with taxi drivers, bartenders, passengers on subways, and even our children. Yet, we have to be present to win! This means we must put down our iPhones and Blackberries, and be awake to the happenings around us. Try it the next time you are in an airport terminal – it may surprise you.

• Trust your gut and have courage to follow it. Choices are the right and left turns on our lives' highway. If we truly listen to our 'gut' and our intuition they seldom lead us astray. Our challenge is to have the courage to listen to our gut. We often rationalize, justify, and 'sell' ourselves on what we think we need to do. Sure, there is a balance – this is called judgment. However, I will offer that in my life every single time I have not listened to my inner voice – my intuition – the decision has been far less than optimal for supporting my true and authentic self. Let go of expectations of others for your life. Many times we may have a 'hit' to do or be something other than what we are presently – and we fight it (or just flat out ignore it) because it is not what we think we should be doing. The trappings of our world are intoxicating. We often get 'drunk' on these. What I believe, however, is if we truly follow our heart's desire – we will be successful. All the other trappings will take care of themselves.
• Finally, be willing to play hard and possibly fall hard. Whether this is engaging in a yoga class, a lacrosse match or taking a monthly art class, we need to 'do stuff' we really love. This is our essence. We need to go for it with all the gusto we can muster. If we stumble or fall – that's ok. We are living life without fear of failure. Whew, what a concept. If only we could truly embrace the cliché: 'what would you do if you knew you could not fail' in every moment of every day.

We have the choice to grasp all the possibility within ourselves, and then act in a disciplined, concentrated and focused way. Whether we are leaders in our organizations, mothers and fathers raising our children, or simply making our way in the world, as Hawthorne offers: “No one man can, for any considerable time, wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which is the true one.” Once we find 'the true one face,' we reveal and embrace our fullest potential with simply 'the real me.' Therein lies the power of the authentic and fully aligned self.

So, is alignment the secret to authentic power? I actually believe authenticity and alignment are synonymous. I also believe there is undeniable power in the authentic congruency of mind, body, heart, and spirit. So, yes, I believe becoming 'aligned' with your core soul, and allowing this to manifest into the world through your choices, is the secret to living your life with powerful purpose and purposeful power.

Photo credit: iStockphoto

About the author: Kristin Kaufman formed Alignment, Inc. to help individuals, teams and leaders increase their overall contribution, bottom line effectiveness and personal fulfillment. Using a well-rounded ‘end to end’ alignment process, she helps some of the world’s leading organizations achieve measurable results and develop and inspire leadership capacity for ongoing transformation. Kristin’s first book, Is This Seat Taken?, centered on her global experiences seeding her journey toward alignment, was published in 2011 to national acclaim. Kristin is on Twitter as @KristinKaufman.

I’ve started journaling. I know, I know.  The idea of journaling sounds a little hokey and geared toward someone with plenty of time on their hands and not something for working women like you and me.

In fact, if you are anything like me, you gave up on journaling sometime around 9th grade when you read through your 8th grade journal entries and discovered how theatrical you sounded.  Hindsight helped you realize that spilling your soup in the Jr. High lunch line really wasn’t the end of the world.

More recently, I have been so remiss on logging my life chronicles that both my daughters’ baby books are definitely thinner than they ought to be.

So why take it up now when I am lucky if I get a 10 minute jog in a couple times a week or a brief daily synopsis with my husband? The idea of creating a happiness journal came to me after reading several articles geared towards increasing your happiness.

One of the repeated suggestions was to make it a priority to recognize what makes you grateful each and every day so I decided to take 2 minutes each day after lunch to jot down something(s) that I was thankful for in the past 24 hours. I called this my happiness journal and I resolved to look back after a month and identify themes.

Aside from having and mothering two very spirited girls, this is one of the best things I have done.  I can say that after my month long happiness journal experiment, I will keep at this exercise and I encourage each of my clients to do the same.  Here are 4 reasons why:

1. Validation. For me, I found validation in that I love what I do.  I love helping people formulate career plans that assist them in achieving their career goals. Most of my entries included a quick statement such as “made my day to hear ______ got a second interview after our coaching session.”
2. Passion Identification. Journaling can help you identify an unknown passion.  One client I work with did this exercise for several weeks and was surprised to learn that more often than not she was grateful for teaching moments; times when she helped a colleague learn something new.  This new found knowledge has inspired her to go for more managerial roles within her organization.
3. Carpe Diem, “Seize the day.” Journaling has helped motivate me to live in the moment with my family and really aim to revel in those sweet moments of nighttime rituals, rowdy playtime, and innocent discovery that inhabits every day with small children.  Admittedly, I still struggle in the whole carpe diem idea when I am checking out at the grocery store with both girls in tow and one is walking towards a perfect stranger’s cart hoping to find a toy inside and the other is reaching for the M&M’s at checkout.  I am a work in progress, what can I say?
4. More Happiness. This is the whole point, right? Living a life of gratitude is good for the soul. I found taking 2 minutes out of my day to recognize all the good and decent things that occur in my life absolutely made me a happier person.  Just ask my husband, coworkers, and children!

Try journaling.  Give a couple minutes a day to discover what a daily documentation of your gratitude can do for you and your life.

Photo credit iStockphoto

Defining balance can be tricky.

In my opinion finding balance between one’s work and the remainder of their life is very personal and varies from person to person.  What may be a life that is in balance for one person could be a life ready to go off the rails for another.  It all depends on our perspective on our life at work and our life outside of work.

Nonetheless, along my career and life journey I have found a few things that work for me in terms of balance that I think are worth sharing with others who may be struggling with the issue.

Seems like everyone everywhere is trying to find the right work-life balance.  I have a very challenging job and a husband and three children. I am often looked to at work as a role model of someone who has found work-life balance even with a demanding job and family.

I often find myself embarrassed by that because unlike others, I am fortunate to have an incredible support system.  My mother lives with us and does many things to help run the household.  She gets the kids off to school (makes all the lunches), does our laundry, and cooks dinner every night.  My husband, Shaun, is also a big contributor.  Additionally, he works out of the home so he is available to run daily errands.  Nonetheless, I have a very busy lifestyle and work hard to find “balance.”

There are however, a couple of key things I have learned about balance.  Again, defining balance is unique to every individual.  What balance means for me, can be entirely different than what it means to others.  Additionally, I believe that finding balance isn’t a constant state.  Sometimes, work has to take a priority and sometimes family life does.  The key is to not let one always take precedence over the other, but to ebb and flow with the situation at the time.

Based on my particular circumstances, while I do not see myself as a role model of work-life balance, I have learned the following lessons along the way that do help and are worth sharing:

You don’t have to be perfect.  There was a time that I thought I had to be the perfect leader, employee, wife and mother.  No one is, or can be perfect.  The earlier that you realize that, the better off you will be.  When you expect perfection in all things from yourself, you are setting yourself up for constant failure.

Set your own boundaries.  People will allow you to do whatever you allow yourself to do. No one is going to say, oh don’t take on that additional work, you have a family to care for.  After awhile, they will come to expect from you whatever you have willingly done in the past.  You have to set your own boundaries.  Just as people will come to expect you to do everything that you always have, they will come accustomed to, and accepting of your boundaries.

Know your priorities.  You have to decide what is important for you and what isn’t.  I take my job very seriously.  In the past, maybe too seriously.  One of the best ways I have learned to set priorities is by asking myself a simple question, ” In five years, will it matter that I did or didn’t do this?”  It is amazing how often the thing that you feel a strong obligation toward doing won’t even matter in five days.

Accept help.  There are many people willing to help you out.  Never turn down someone’s offer to help.  This relates to number 1 above.  Our drive to be perfect sometimes leads us to deny ourselves help.  If someone offers to pick up your kids from school or drive them to practice, let them.  You can always reciprocate in easier times.

Take time for yourself.  If you spend all of your time taking care of others and things you will become resentful.  Find something that you enjoy and that is just for you (exercise, reading, etc.) and make the time to fit it in.  Taking care of yourself re-energizes you.

Above all, keep in mind that life is too short and goes by far too fast.  We all need to earn a living but more importantly, we deserve to live life to the fullest.  This requires a balance between doing the things we have to do and doing the things we want to do.

About the author: Lisa Emerson is the Vice President — Global Total Compensation at McDonald’s Corporation. In this capacity, she has responsibility for all aspects of compensation and benefits globally. Lisa and her husband Shaun created Tutto Persona to share their experiences and thoughts on work, family, and other odds & ends.