Who doesn’t feel under-appreciated at some point or other? You’ve done some good work, you’ve made a hard call on an important issue. But sometimes doing this, in itself, is not enough. You want recognition and appreciation of your contribution. And it is not coming your way. Waves of sadness, regret or perhaps anger or disappointment may engulf you.
Feeling under-appreciated happens and the best thing you can do is realize that while you can’t control how people react or respond to you or your efforts, you certainly can have a say in how you deal with that. So, here’s how you can help yourself feel better if you ever feel under-appreciated.
Recognize the situation
Spend a little time evaluating the situation. Recognize what you are feeling and consider why you feel this way. It takes effort to move beyond the rawness of the emotion into an analysis of why this is happening and what the primary cause of your emotion is. The aim here is to get past just being purely led by emotion – when you start thinking it through, it’s only natural that there is less focus on emotion.
Don’t take on more
If you are doing the work because you are craving recognition, come to terms that it is not happening. If you find a reason for carrying on for yourself, then do that. But if there is no reason to do it for yourself, then decide that you will take on no more. It could be for a time or permanently – the decision on the timeframe need not necessarily be made right now.
Promote your brand and your work
Successful people do not get anywhere simply doing good work and letting it shine through or waiting for it to be discovered. You have to adopt a brazen attitude, deftly balancing between arrogance and a quiet confidence as you articulate your brand proposition and speak for your work. Your life’s presentation must take on a balance of both good work and effective presentation.
Yes, that’s right. We don’t always have to say yes to every project, every email, every offer and in the time frame dictated to us. We simply cannot live our life at the demands and whims of those around us – we too need to know our own priorities and deadlines and work to make that central to what we do and who we are.
Find a way to renew and regenerate
Balance is key to achieving what we set out to do, and balance means different things to different people. What is important is that it works for you, regardless of whether it works for others. Stop, pause, reflect. Do what you need to, to renew yourself. In the process, it will be less relevant that you are not appreciated as you find solace and a centeredness in self-reliance.
Rowena Morais is the Editor of HR Matters Magazine, a quarterly print publication aimed at Human Resource professionals. She is also the co-founder and Programme Director at Flipside, a business services company with offices in Malaysia and Singapore, providing professional certification training. Here, she provides strategic direction as well as oversight on client training and corporate functional areas. Rowena blogs about developing habits, execution, growth and personal development. She lives in Kuala Lumpur with her husband, two young kids and now, a newborn. Connect with Rowena at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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