I Am Not A Traditional Woman

I am not a traditional woman.  I don’t Be even know what “traditional” means anymore.

Is it the woman wholesale nba jerseys of the 40’s who took care of everything at home while the husband was away at war?  Is it cheap nfl jerseys the woman of the 50’s who, like June Cleaver, was the perfect homemaker and mother?  Is it the woman of the 60’s or 70’s who was fighting for greater equality?  Is it the woman of the 80’s who was taking on more “typically male” roles in the workplace?  Is it the woman of the 90’s who moved into more corporate Together leadership roles and had trouble balancing that with being a wife, mother, or partner?  Is it the woman of the 00’s who is using technology, assistants, daycare, activities, nannys, and maids to get through cheap mlb jerseys a day?

I don’t think there is a a right answer.

I am now a woman of the 10’s.  One that values being wholesale nba jerseys a mother more than any other role, personal or professional, in my life.  I am also a the leader, worker, learner, teacher, writer, and speaker.  However, I DO NOT want it all.

That’s right, I do not want it all.

I want only to love and be loved.  To challenge Radio and be challenged.  To learn and to teach.

I co-founded Women of HR with the Kahvalt?da goal of being a place where some of the thought leaders in Human Resources, female and male, can come ?iddetsiz together to cheap nba jerseys share thoughts on what it is like to be a woman in the workplace or how women in the workplace are perceived.  We will talk about many issues that affect women.  We will discuss all subjects- nothing is not fair game.

I am not a traditional woman because that just does not exist.  Do you agree?

About the Author

Trisha McFarlane

Trish McFarlane is the Director of HR for Perficient, an IT management consulting firm. With 15 years of experience in Human Resources, Trish is a sought after speaker on human resources and social media and co-founder of HRevolution. She's also a working mother of 8-year-old twins who keep her busy when she's not in the trenches of HR. Trisha blogs at HRRingleader. You can connect with Trisha on Twitter as @TrishMcFarlane and on LinkedIn.

22 Comments

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Reply
Sarah

Thank you for posting this — and for Mike VanDervort leading me to this site. I do not believe there is a definition or picture of “traditional” woman any longer, and maybe that iin itself is the greatest goal of the equality movements. To lose the shackles of expectation — either professionally or personally — brings such a sense of freedom to choose. I can choose to be a healthy woman, a strong partner, a fun friend, a decent cook, AND a great employee and leader. I can create the expectations I set for myself around goals that integrate all of thsoe roles — and accept that I will perpetually be behind in laundry, that “from scratch” usually means there was help, and that I can create a salary budget and benefit plan for 450 families with the same dedication and sincerity I apply to bouncing my niece on my hip or learning to surf with my partner. And I no longer believe that adjusting any of those roles will necessitate the termination of any other. Of course, I’m trying to figure out whether to add “mother” to my resume, — but for the first time I believe I could do that without destroying my career or friendships. Even if I get even further behind on laundry.

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Hope

I agree with the above statement, you may not be traditional but you are visionary. I too would like to think we all are unique and what is wonderful about the 10’s is that there is no such thing as traditional. We all make it up as we go along. And that seems to be okay.
It’s not as if we are scattered or chaos reigns, it’s just that life is so full of stuff that we have to consistently pick and choose.
For us? Work rarely suffers, it just is handled differently, and family always comes first, again, in various ways.

Thanks for your insightfulness…

Hope

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Dina Medeiros

Such a great topic.

Something must be in the air or the water? I’ve been having this conversation so much lately.
I’ve done the crazy worker, then flipped to stay at home mom and then back to the middle, then back to where I started.

Just recently I began to think of my priorities like this: time, life and balance are what it’s all about. Work IS part o my life WHEN I’m doing what I love. So I want, what I want not what others want me to have. But at the end of the day it’s all about love, relationships, learning and some giggles.

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Charee Klimek

And that’s OK! Love this post. There’s so much pressure still even after all that we’ve gone through to “get where we are” to have it all.

We don’t NEED it all. The simple things are the best things and the stuff 99% of people overlook.

When I began my career, I was headstrong NOT to have it all. Then, as it happens to so many, I became successful and having it all came easy even though I knew in my heart it came at a price I didn’t really want to be paying.

For that reason, I cherish the day I got smart and reset the priorities. Balance is back and what do you know…so is the Mojo. 🙂

It comes down to this: When our time is up, how do we want our family, friends and others we’re close with to remember us?

I’m with you sister. Don’t want it all. Don’t need it all. Just love, happiness, health, continuous learning and enough success to live a comfortable life – even if that life requires me to cut some coupons every once and while.

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Diane Prince Johnston

I have gotten to a point where I can enjoy different aspects of my life and accept myself for the roles that I play. Some days I attend school parties, drive carpool and roast a chicken. Other days I commute to the office until late and sometimes I even go on a date. I am not sure what I am supposed to be. All I know is that I am me. I love what I do, I like being engaged in the grown up world and I make a mean Toll House cookie!

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Michael VanDervort

Maybe Helen Reddy could update her song. “I am non-traditional woman, hear me roar!”

I just dated myself.

Great article. Great site. Looking forward to being a part of it! Nice job, Trisha!

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Jennifer Payne

Great post Trish! I love that notion of it being okay to say you don’t want it all, all of the time. I don’t have a family of my own at this point in my life and I primarily have to worry about supporting myself….but that doesn’t mean I still don’t have challenges in balancing everything in my life too. There are so many different kinds of women out there with different lifestyles…but I think in many ways were are all also very much the same in trying to find that balance.

Thanks as always for being such an inspiration 🙂

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Trisha McFarlane

@Steve- You are too kind to me. I really appreciate your encouragement and support. Thanks for taking time to comment.

@Mike- Thanks friend!

@Nicole- That’s an interesting point about the June Cleavers of the world. I’m sure many were unfulfilled. You also hit on the need for women to work in order to provide financial stability. I was just reading about the number of women who are now the sole breadwinner in the family after a husband is laid off. The number is rising and with the job market still in trouble, many of these men may be the stay-at-home dad for awhile. As women, we’re starting to face whole new sets of stressors. Thanks for taking your time to comment. I appreciate it.

@Andrea- Hi and thanks for your comment. Wow, mentors still out there trying to sell the “you can have it all idea”. I wonder when society will catch up and figure out that we don’t even need it all. I’m starting to think it’s just a crazy sales pitch that companies give to women in their 20’s- 30’s so they don’t leave the job when they start a family. By the time we reach 40, it hits you like a ton of bricks that you don’t need it all. I’m definitely in the simplify mode of my life right now. Don’t need some of the status symbols I thought I needed when I was younger. I don’t need a sports car, an outrageously expensive purse, or Jimmy Choos to feel accomplished. I think I’m going to call this my “minivan decade”. lol

@Dorothy- Thank you and glad to have you on board!

@John- Thanks John. I hope you’ll consider throwing your hat into the Women of HR writer’s ring sometime soon as a guest.

@Lisa- I know! News flash, right? All women should build a community every now and then. It’s good for the heart and the soul. Oh yeah, and the brain.

@Shelley- What a great opportunity to have been in both roles. I had a while to be a stay-at-home mom when my kids were about 3 years old. It was the best time of my life. Also hard work. I don’t think I knew it was going to be so hard to really stay home all the time. So glad you commented. Thanks.

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Shelley Piedmont

Trish-

I’ve seen both sides as a working executive and a stay-at-home mom. There is no right role, only what is right for the person at that time.

Keep up the good work!

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John Jorgensen

Trish, great piece. Yours is a refreshing view. Not sure there is a traditional anything anymore. Keep up the great work, it’s a great site.

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Dorothy Dalton

Trish as a lady of a certain age who has experienced all those decades of conflicting demands on women – I can totally relate! Count me in!

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Andrea Ballard

Way to go Trish! Thanks for saying that You Don’t Want It All. I’ve found my women mentors over the last couple of years have told me, “You can have it all, just not all at the same time.” While they were telling me I could have the fulfilling career, the time I needed with my family, and the comiittment I wanted to give to myself, they were saying I had to space them out. And while I agree conceptually, the promblem is that my life doesn’t work that way!

Traditional women – don’t know what it is or what it means. I agree with Nicole, it’s finding what makes me happy and then having conversations and changing circumstances to support that ideal.

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Nicole De Falco

Trish, thank you for having the courage to say “I don’t want it all.” I”m surrounded by mothers who have to work in order to keep their families financially solvent. We feel guilty when we are working because we are not with our kids. When we are with our kids, we worry that we might be missing something at work or getting behind. I used to mock the “June Cleaver” ideal. Now, I feel a bit of nostalgia for a simpler existence. There was a single ideal for which to strive and no work/life balance issues. Although from what I understand, many a June Cleaver spent afternoons drinking a lot of booze feeling empty, unchallenged, and dissatisfied. So much for the ideal.

Like you, the conclusion I’ve come to is that instead of trying to fit into someone else’s notion of what is “a traditional woman,” it’s best to imagine yourself happy and then work on changing your own circumstances so that the dream becomes reality.

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Steve Browne

Trish – I appreciate your candor. You may not be “traditional”, but you are visionaru !! Thanks for assembling this forum for HR in general and especially for @WomenofHR to share their powerful voice !! Keep being a trailblazer !!l

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