The Wikipedia describes a Trailing Spouse as “a person who follows his or her life partner to another city because of a work assignment.”
It goes further to explain that the life of The Trailing Spouse is fraught with many challenges that may impact on their personal and professional lives. Challenges such as:
Barriers to mobility
Loss of identity
These are all very real and pertinent issues that Trailing Spouses face as their new reality and I can identify to some degree with some of them. However, I have often wondered at the adjective “Trailing”. I feel a certain degree of discomfort referring to an individual or a spouse as “Trailing.”
Synonyms for trailing include: rambling, lagging, tailing, dragging….all less than savory adjectives for the word spouse. In my mind’s eye, “trailing” paints a picture of forced followership, reluctant relocation.
It reminds me of little people on a leash, compelled to follow their care givers whether they would like to or not.
It signifies to me a lack of choice or say in the matter and I do not think it adequately describes or does justice to the spouses who have boldly taken up the challenge to leave the comfort and security of the familiar and move to a new location, experience new cultures, and thrive in their new environment, all the while supporting their spouses and oftentimes children in order to make for a smooth transition to their new way of life. That to me looks a lot more like Trail Blazing and not just “Trailing”.
Moving to a new location with no security of a ready source of income can be a stressful time, and a time of uncertainty… but it can also be an exciting time, an opportunity to use this block of time and do that which you might otherwise not have done. The possibilities are endless.
This is a call for spouses who have chosen to accompany their partners to pursue their careers abroad to have greater expectations for their expatriate experience. As you plan your upcoming move, there are 4 tips that might help make the transition a little bit easier. Please feel free to add more in the comments below.
Plan: It’s advisable to have a plan before you leave your home country of what personal goals that you would like to achieve during your time in your new location. You are not on exile so you are allowed to have fun with the whole expatriation process. It could be to learn a new language, look for a job within your field of expertise (or even in another field of expertise), further your education, write a book or start a blog, or even take a leave of absence to spend more time with your family. As I mentioned earlier,The possibilities are endless.
Position yourself: If you would like to work in your new location, start your job search as early as you can. Look for opportunities within your network, take a class, learn the local language, do some research, and get informed. Do whatever is necessary to get you one step closer to your goal.
Persist: maintain a positive outlook, don’t give up easily…even when things seem to be happening not as fast as you envisaged. Also stay open to change and be flexible to opportunities that at first glance may not seem to align with your core competencies.
Pay it forward: Help someone else succeed. Offer the support you wish you got. Share your experiences and your new knowledge with others who need your expertise.
The key is to exploit the situation that you find yourself in and use it to enrich your life’s story. Moving to a new country with all the excitement is a great time to reinvent yourself because no one has any preconceived notions about you. This means you have a chance to start afresh and try to be that which you always wished.
Who knows what you would have achieved at the end of your expatriation in terms of self development, new knowledge of different cultures, and new relationships built that you would otherwise not have been exposed to.
Besides, why be a trailing spouse when you could be a Blazing Spouse or better yet a Trail Blazer?
About the Author: Tamkara currently lives in The Hague and is currently taking time off from her day job in Procurement and Sourcing to pursue an MBA. She will be spending the next few months studying, blogging and learning Dutch. You can connect with her on twitter @tamkara or find out what she’s up to at www.naijaexpatinholland.com.
While the thought of trading in the rat race of an office building or major corporation, and working from home, may sound highly appealing, the reality is, this transition is often more challenging than most people believe. When you’ve gotten used to the all-work structure of an office, coming home and working in the midst of your kids and home life can be like a splash of cold water. How do you manage your family life, without sacrificing work ethic or the deadlines that don’t slow down?
I know from personal experience that working from home is no walk in the park. Whether it’s kids pulling on my arm, ready for a snack, or my husband calling from his office, asking me to pick up the dry-cleaning, remaining task oriented has been something I’ve had to learn as I go. Although I know there are times when I need to remain flexible and allow for interruptions, for the most part, my work must remain a priority.
If you’re transitioning from office to home and are worried your work might suffer, the key is balance. Without it, you’ll feel as if you’re juggling ten glass plates all on your own. The following tips have proven helpful in my own work journey and I’m able to keep my family life in order while maintaining my profession.
Dedicate a space to work.
There is a reason why office buildings and cubicles exist – they are dedicated spaces where people complete work-related tasks. If one of the reasons you’re considering working from home is to escape the cubicle, trust me – I’ve been there. Although I’m not suggesting replicating a cubicle in your home, I am saying that a dedicated work space in your home is absolutely essential to success.
If you have a room you can turn into your office, do so. If not, dedicate a corner of a quiet space to your office. The kitchen table or the living room couch is probably not the best space to spread your stuff out. Papers are easily lost or spilled on and the distractions are numerous. For me, going out and buying a room partitioner when I first started saved me from hours of insanity and distraction.
Have all the essentials in place.
The great part of working at an office is that everything you need is right there. A printer? No problem. Fax machine? Your corporation probably has several. When you transition home, however, you may need to go out and buy these essentials. Do this right away, so there’s no scrambling at the last minute when an important deadline comes around.
I like having everything in my workspace. That means the printer is right where I can reach it, and my fax machine is just steps away. Even though other members of my family make use of these items every so often, they still remain in my office, regardless of who needs to use them. Whatever your tools are – keep them where you work.
If your office is a mess of supplies and papers, then set aside some time to get it in pristine condition. Purchase supplies and containers to keep your things attractively organized. Knowing where everything is helps me keep my cool and manage my work more effectively.
Organization is essential.
If you’re a naturally organized person, this tip is like second-nature for you already. However, I know that I need every other tool out there to keep myself on track. When you’re managing work deadlines at the same time as soccer practice and doctor appointments, a planner will become your go-to.
Purchase a large calendar and write out all your tasks for the month. Try to do this at the beginning of every month, for as far out as you can plan. When dates are nailed down far in advance, you know what’s coming up and therefore, what you can say yes, and no, to. I’ve found that a daily planner is helpful, as well. Being able to create and check-off items from a daily to-do list makes me feel more accomplished and in control of my day.
Set your hours.
Working from 9-5 certainly has its drawbacks, but truthfully, the structure of a workday is often what keeps people successful. The same applies when working from home. Not having a set work time really throws a wrench in your success, something I learned the hard way.
I find it’s best to plan your work day around your family, especially if you have kids. When your kids are off to school for the day, settle down in your office and get to work. If you work steadily through the school day, that’s a good chunk of time spent on work-related tasks. As important as it is to start when you say you will, it’s equally important to finish on time, too. My kids find it frustrating when I say I’ll be finished by four, and I’m still pounding on the keyboard come 5 o’clock. Stick to your hours. You’ll have a happier family because of it.
Make it clear you’re working.
Just because you are home doesn’t mean that you are free. Although one of the hardest things to learn about working from home, it is also one of the most essential. When I began working from home, friends felt free to call and talk for hours, and I often let myself get caught in this trap. However, your friends, and your family, need to understand that work must get done even though it’s getting done from home. Let your loved ones know that you have a job that needs to get done, and you’d love to socialize, but after work. Difficult? Yes. But necessary? Absolutely.
At this point, you may be wondering if working from home is really worth it. Let me tell you from personal experience – yes. While it does require a high amount of discipline and time to learn how to manage the balancing act, in the end, you’ll find much more joy in your work and in your family. Begin setting boundaries early, and working from home will become a breeze.
About the Author: Naomi Shaw is a freelance writer in Southern California. As a mom who works at home, she knows how challenging it is to keep a balance and distinction between family and work. These tips have been some of the most helpful when transitioning to working at home, and she enjoys helping other women find success in their work ventures.
Recently, my son transitioned to a different middle school than the one he had been attending since kindergarten and originally intended to graduate. This transition got me thinking when it came time for me to write for Women in HR. One can truly correlate the selection of a school to attend to accepting and starting a new job. Overall, it’s a personal choice and the final decision not only has to be the student or jobseeker, but it has to fit with their overall plan in life.
Now you may think “isn’t middle school a bit too young to be thinking about how a school decision fits into your overall plan?” Not really, I personally think kids are “groomed”, hopefully by their own choice and not their parents living their own goals through them, very early in life for things like sports, music, dance and more. Where I live, it seems like the high school all-stars start their journey before they can even tie their shoes. I’ve seen young baseball, soccer and football camps for kids who barely enter elementary school. They wear the gear but they are so tiny it looks like they are going to fall over. So if the focus on team sports can start so early then why can’t kids start making choices from an academic standpoint that affect their career? I have always heard that you can trace your career choice back to what you did on the playground. Me? I used to sing on the porch in front of my audience from the neighborhood. While my dreams of a singing career did not come true, I do have an audience now and again as a teacher, trainer, and speaker in the HR community. So I guess at least from my experience what I hear is true, to an extent, of course.
Now let’s get back to the school choice and its relationship to jobs. Once my son decided to change schools, which he had been contemplating for almost a year, we decided to set up a “shadow” day at two of the schools he had in mind. In addition to hanging out with a fellow student all day to observe, he had to meet with the principal of each school, for which I joined him to listen and ask my own questions. As a parent, I was very impressed at my son’s questions and his maturity while in these meetings. He asked questions I had not even thought of, like: 1) what type of math and English program the school uses to teach the students; and 2) what specific extra-curricular activities did they have related to his personal interests.
One of the things his former school had that neither of the new choices had was Robotics, which was very important to him since he plans at this point to have a career in engineering, technology, or both. However, he justified his decision to continue to pursue his move because the school he did finally decide on had an advanced math course and was willing to start a Robotics club as soon as possible. While starting the club would not allow him to immediately join a Robotics team, allowing him to compete like he did the previous year, it was not a game changer. He told me that since he would now be able to take high school math in 8th grade that would give him a jump start on his high school math credits. That decision will allow him to take college level math while still in high school. Did I mention he is 12 years old and he is telling me all of this? The reason it is so important to him is because he has plans to go to a specific college one day (MIT) that will help him get into the career of his dreams.
Employees (typically disgruntled or disengaged employees) are constantly looking for a new job or opportunity, especially when the job they are in doesn’t satisfy their needs or holds them back from moving closer to the dream job they would like to have. Recently, on Drive Thru HR I heard Jennifer Miller refer to people finding a job that deserves them. How fitting of a philosophy that jobs don’t find people, people find jobs. I remember getting out of the financial services field to move into manufacturing so I could round out my resume to experience the old white collar and blue collar workforce. Someone had told me that my HR advice probably didn’t work in the blue collar world because I had only worked with people in offices. I was not about to have that perception limit my future opportunities so I took care of it by getting the job I needed to work in the blue collar workplace.
Planning at any age, in school or in the world of work, can definitely help to shape your career.
Donna Rogers, SPHR aka @DonnaRogersHR. Donna is a full time Instructor at University of Illinois at Springfield, owner of Rogers HR Consulting and the immediate past Director of the Illinois State Council of SHRM. She has over 20 years in the HR field and currently teaches Human Resources Management, Organizational Behavior, Organizational Development, and Strategic HR Management. She practices what she teaches for almost 100 clients in the central Illinois area.
I was recently flipping through the stations on TV and stumbled across the 1997 “chick flick” Picture Perfect. For those not familiar, this particular movie stars Jennifer Aniston as an aspiring ad agency professional who finds her career, despite her obvious talent, slightly hampered by the fact that she’s single. Her lack of attachment (no husband, kids, or mortgage) is the basis of her boss and the agency’s fear that she’ll develop relationships with key clients and then leave, taking those clients with her elsewhere, without a second thought. She feels so hampered that it prompts her to concoct a story with a fake fiancé and wedding plans to prove her “commitment to the firm;” her plans to settle down reaffirm that she is in no hurry to make a move anywhere else.
Now this movie is slightly dated and the world of work has certainly seen changes since its release, but I wonder if in some cases these types of fears still exist? One might argue not. If fact, Time Magazine’s recent cover story “The Childfree Life” discussed couples who choose to not have children, and the career opportunities that are often available to childless women that they may otherwise have to forgo. And one of our Women of HR contributors, Kimberly Patterson, recently explored the subject, and possible fallacy, of loyalty here.
However, despite these arguments, you have to wonder if the sort of mentality presented in Picture Perfect doesn’t actually still exist in some places and some companies. There are still many organziations where longevity and loyalty is rewarded, where service recognition programs are a key part of employee recognition strategies. I’m not claiming that all companies that recognize and reward loyalty think like this; I’m just wondering if in some corners of Corporate America, there are still executives and leadership teams who maintain these biases.
Having been single in the professional world for many years, I’ve felt both sides of this: the Time Magazine cited opportunities to travel, and the freedom to be a part of projects that may have been more difficult with commitments at home. But there have also been occasions where I’ve experienced Jennifer Aniston’s character’s feeling that I’m not quite the same as everyone else who is settled down with a family. I’ve never felt it hamper my career, but there are times (especially when company and charity events are centered on couples and/or families) that there has been a slight feeling of not quite belonging.
So I ask you…what do you think? Do these biases still exist? Are there places where women may be held back as a result of not being “settled down?” And if so, do these biases affect men the same way?
Futhermore, as HR professionals, should it not be partially our responsibility to ensure our companies are not excluding single and/or childless women (and men for that matter) from development and advancement opportunities?
I’d love to hear your comments below.
About the Author: Jennifer Payne, SPHR has 15 years of HR experience in employee relations, talent acquisition, and learning & development, and currently works in talent management in the retail grocery industry. She is one of the co-founders of Women of HR, and is currently the Editor of the site. You can connect with her on Twitter as @JennyJensHR and on LinkedIn.
Photo credit iStockphoto
I love to watch my little girls sleep. They are calm, full of possibility, and not asking me to change them for the 4th time that hour into another fairy, princess, or pirate costume. As I watch, I imagine what dramas, adventures, heartbreak, and careers (I am a career coach after all!) lie ahead for both of them and it’s hard to discern what my hopes are for them and what my actual expectations are.
My free-spirited head-strong 4. 5 year old has always had a mind of her own and her attitude taught me early on that she was her own girl, with a unique personality; wonderful, and not at all a clone of her mom. This helped me pull away the layers of hopes I had dreamt up when she was 20 weeks in utero and I found out a little girl was in our future. As she took on the world through her independence, I worked hard to stop putting my aspirations or assumptions of who she would become onto her tiny little shoulders. By the time my younger daughter was born I felt that I was doing a pretty decent job of embracing the individual personalities each girl would have. That being said, I still do catch myself making offhand comments about “when Josie is CEO of a company” or “when she opens her own restaurant.” After years of watching their personalities form, I come up with careers that I think they will definitely master. Of course, these career predictions change as fast as the whims of precocious preschoolers change. So what exactly do I hope for when it comes to the lives my girls create and why do I bother to write about it?
I hope they have choices. I hope they never have to stay in situations that aren’t working for them, that aren’t helping them grow, and thrive, and laugh, and play. I hope they work (I do, I can’t help it) but I also hope they have the choice to create the work schedule and environment that brings out their best and matches the priorities they hold at any given moment. So what does this mean for me, and how I mother them? How do I help them achieve a life full of choice? I’m not quite sure but I think it involves helping them develop a love of learning so they have the education to back up their goals. I am also pretty sure it involves showing them what love is and how it never means giving up who you are, what you like, or who your friends are. I want them to choose wisely if and when they do decide to marry.
I have read countless books geared towards us working mom set, and most of them are written from the perspective of a fairly privileged, educated woman who does have the choice to either work or not, be married or not, have more children or not, schedule housecleaners, nannies, gardeners, date night etc. or not. One of the themes that seems to come through is a hint of complaint about the fact that there just are too many choices. As if moms are paralyzed by choice and opportunity, a burden the generation before us didn’t have.
Can I be candid? To me this is nonsense. Instead of lamenting the various choices we have and the way it makes us feel afraid to move, how about buck up and spend some time figuring what you want and who you are, and have the courage to be that person and pursue that goal? Take choice by the horns and run with it. You want to work part-time to have more time with your family? Figure out a way to make it work. Talk to your employer, talk to other moms who do it, create a situation that makes it possible. You want to start your own business? There is no easier time then now. Truly it will only get harder. Trust me, I work with MBA students and I have heard every counter to this argument including “ I have a newborn” to which my response is, “Do you think it will be easier when you have a full schedule of t-ball and ballet classes to take your kids too?” You want a meaningful career that involves decision making? Pursue another degree, ask for management opportunities, apply for a new job, seek out a mentor that has that role. Take proactive steps so you are creating a life that includes endless choices and a plethora of paths to venture down.
I hope this for my daughters, I seek this for myself, and I encourage it of you.
About the author: Maggie Tomas works at the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota as Associate Director and Career Coach in the Graduate Business Career Services office. Her background includes teaching and career counseling at the college level, namely at the University of St. Thomas, University of California Santa Barbara (UCSB), and Brooks Institute, a well-known film, photography, and design school where she served as Director of Career and Student Services. She is a contributing writer to several blogs and publications including Opus Magnum, Women of HR, and Job Dig.
Photo credit iStockphoto
During a recent career coaching session with a client, I realized that much of the advice that he had been given was, in my humble opinion, not so very good. In fact, the advice was desperately bad.
For instance, my client said that a friend told him that he should not wear a suit to an interview because it would make him look desperate. The word desperate came up a few more times. The same friend told my client that you should never admit that you have been laid off from your job, even if is true, because that would make you seem desperate. And last, my client asked if reaching out to prospective employers, without seeing a job posting, would make him look desperate.
My advice about the suit. If you own a good suit, wear it to an interview. Dress up. Polish your shoes. Trim your facial hair. Be clean and neat. You want to make a good impression. Dressing well helps make desperately good first impressions.
My advice about admitting that you were laid off from your job. Tell the truth. There is no shame in having been laid off. The vast majority of Americans know at least one person (a friend, relative, neighbor) whose job has been eliminated. Explain that your job was eliminated, stay positive about your former employer, and move on to explaining why you are interested in their job opening. Doing so will make you seem desperately honest and focused.
And last, my advice about reaching out to prospective employers. Do it! It shows initiative and drive not desperation, in my book.
I am curious. Do you agree or disagree with my advice? And what crazy career advice have you heard and disagreed with?
About the author: Judy Lindenberger is the President of The Lindenberger Group, an award-winning human resources consulting firm, located near Princeton, NJ. They are experts in career coaching, customized training workshops, online training programs, mentoring, 360-degree assessment and feedback, HR audits, employee handbooks, and more. Learn more about them at www.lindenbergergroup.com.
Photo credit: iStockphoto
[Editor's Note: Many of our Women of HR writers also maintain their own blogs. Please enjoy this post from Kimberly Patterson, originally posted on Unconventional HR.]
When I hear folks speak about how proud they are to be a loyal employee I want to cringe. Be loyal to yourself, your partner, close friends, family and your pet. Do you think your loyalty will be reciprocated when your company is facing tough times and has to review numbers and headcount for a RIF?
It’s not realistic for employees to be loyal to companies or for companies to be loyal to employees. And it’s not a bad thing — here’s why…
If you’re an employee and believe that your loyalty will be remembered by your employer when it’s time for the tough decisions, my question to you is, “why on earth would you place your career decisions entirely in the hands of someone else?” Not only will working at one place for too long make you stale, you’re giving up the control of managing your own career. What if your manager retires, transfers or gets a new gig outside of the company? So much for all of those years of loyalty. Do you think your manager is going to present a succession plan for you on their way out the door? Avoid being naive and recognize the excess of “dog eat dog” attitudes in Corporate America.
I’ve seen business owners in smaller organizations be loyal to employees by making sure they receive salary increases and bonuses every year — for basically showing up for work. That’s okay, only to a point. Is it because companies don’t want to go through the pain of hiring new talent? Can business owners and leaders honestly say that this employee who has been working for them for the last 15 years is continually growing and that growing is positively impacting their business? Or does having an employee come in on time, day after day, equal loyalty? For many business owners it does. And good for them. Or is it? I believe that business owners are doing themselves, their employees and their company a disservice by not embracing fresh eyes and new talent.
Here’s how employees can be considered loyal:
- Do your job and do it well — that’s being loyal to yourself.
- Take pride in your work.
- Never stop learning and advancing in your field.
- Don’t take risks at work to prove your loyalty to anyone for any reason — it may come back to bite you.
- Never believe someone who says, “I’ll take you with me.” That’s just stupid.
Remember that as quickly as decisions are made in organizations is just as quickly as those decisions can change. You should always have your Plan B tucked away in your back pocket because no one else will.
Here’s how companies and managers can be loyal:
- Don’t stifle employees. Let them grow and encourage them to seek out new opportunities.
- Keeping employees under your thumb is comfortable but puts laziness over progress.
Once you bring fresh eyes and new talent to your business, you’ll wonder how you ever got along doing the same old thing day after day.
Kimberly Patterson is the founder of Unconventional HR. An HR pro turned consultant, she has 25 years of progressive experience as a strategic HR and business leader in a variety of industries. Her hands-on and innovative approach allows her to create and deliver HR solutions to meet business challenges and needs by managing human capital, talent acquisition and technology. Connect with her on Twitter at http://twitter.com/kimberly_patt, or at email@example.com.
Professionals in the field of human resource management help to contribute to the success of any business by strategically managing its human capital. Moreover, as a potential career, it is gaining in popularity and increasing in stature. In fact, in 2006, Money Magazine listed the role of the Human Resource Manager as being at number 4 of its best jobs in America list, based on factors such as difficulty, flexibility, creativity, and future job growth in the next decade.
Getting into the field of HR will require the right level of education and training for the role. Since the profession is expected to grow in the coming years and according to Business Insider the salary is also likely to increase, the competition for these jobs will become more fierce, meaning more and more students entering higher education courses specific to this field.
Education and Training
HR People from Monster.com has found that HR employees come from a wide range of backgrounds from an educational standpoint. However, while the subject and content of your degree program won’t necessarily limit your ability to gain access to an HR job, it is recommended that you complete a full University degree to be considered for many jobs in this field. For the best possible training and preparation for a career in HR About.com advises a bachelors degree in HR will be best. This will give you a foot in the door, and will invariably be more highly looked upon by hiring managers than other unrelated subjects. Regardless, most degree programs will open the door to potential employment.
It must be noted, though, that many highly successful HR managers will not have gone through higher education or got a degree. A recent article by the NY Times addresses the increase in demand for job candidates with degrees, suggesting that in a majority of the cases where these successful employees did not obtain degrees first, they will instead have developed their successful career before the post-grad landscape became too highly populated and competitive. These days it is increasingly difficult to obtain an HRM job without having completed a degree first, so this should be your first port of call.
Those who are keen on pursuing a specialized career in HR or a managerial position will want to consider enrolling in a business degree that has more of a specific focus. If you do a more generalized degree to keep your options open, focus on taking extra courses to make you more employable. You can do this after completing your degree, or even during it if possible.
In addition to completing a degree at college, many HR professionals will look to become certified in various disciplines. HR Daily Advisor published an interview based on a survey that revealed HR Certifications are providing many advantages. If you do complete a professional certification, this could lead to higher earning potential – the Senior Professional in Human Resources (SPHM) and Professional in Human Resources (PHR) are two examples.
Finding work within this field isn’t really any different from looking for a job in any other industry. Using online career search websites is a good place to start. However, these online career sites are fairly general in nature, and so looking for specific HR related work is more appropriate and targeted. The Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) is one option that is designed for this specific field.
Bear in mind that some companies will tend to recruit from within as suggested by an article about the benefits of internal hiring published by Forbes. If you are working within a larger company and are interested in moving into HRM then keep an eye on any internal job boards and network with HR managers to see if any potential jobs come up. Networking outside of your company at industry specific events is also a good idea.
As with most professional jobs, however, the easiest way in is to complete your degree and then seek a professional certification via a reputable company. This will give you the best head start in the industry.
Dee Fletcher is a freelance and ghost writer. See also enjoys guest blogging, and does it as often as she can to build her online presence. Dee writes mostly about current trends or events relating to business and technology, but will occasionally write about various industries as well. She works from her home in Southern California and loves to visit the beach as often as she can.
Photo credit iStockphoto
What do you want to be known for? What is important to you?
If you think you are too young to read about retirement or you roll your eyes at the thought of it because it seems impossible, then YOU need to keep your butt in your seat and read this one. If you still want to jump elsewhere – replace the word retirement with sabbatical, or career change, and most of all of this discussion is very applicable there too.
I know my circumstances for retirement are somewhat unique, but the ah-ha moments and realizations I want to share are life lessons and they also happen to be really more powerful when finding yourself free of the high demands of one’s current high speed career.
The word retirement is not a bad word and stop making people that use it feel lazy or shameful. My husband and I have renamed our current status to sabbatical, because of the negative responses we get for using the word retirement this young. Oh well, I expect no sympathy – just a point to make.
When one retires and finds more time on their hands, a lot of self-reflection begins. I believe this is one reason so many people that thought they would love retirement or worked really hard to get there, find themselves miserable. They don’t like what is reflected back to them, when they look deep. The time to evaluate one’s self is when you are slaving away at your job so that you find some releases and rewards along the way.
- Are you an interesting person that can carry on conversations beyond your work and your kids?
- Do you have hobbies that you love to spend time on? Can you find a way to cultivate them now (you will like your life better if you do)
- Do you really know how to relax? Really unplug? It’s been three months and I still check my phone far more then I need to.
Do you have real friendships that would exist without the work or work-style connections? This is a tough one for a lot of people and a lot or relationships. Do your conversations go beyond the topics of work, your industry, or the escape from such work? These may be the friends that have been there through good and bad and always were available, or they could be the friends that you share your hobbies and other interest with. If you find this category of your life lacking, I encourage you to evaluate and cultivate your relationships. It might still be some of the same people in your life, but taking the friendships into a different direction can be rewarding and important.
Can you spend extensive time with your spouse and truly enjoy it? I am blessed that I have worked side-by-side my husband for the last 20 years, so this part is easy for me. I see other couples really struggle when they are more in each other’s calendars. It doesn’t mean things are broken, but you might want to find more common activities and also plan for separate time with no guilt from either party.
This is where most articles focus on retirement, starting your own business, or the risk of career changing. There is a reason for that – it is important. Entrepreneurs are conditioned to “know your number”. The biggest portion of that term is knowing the number it would take to sell your business, but the critical day-to-day practicality of that expression applies to everybody. What are the numbers it takes to live the life you expect?
I could reach those numbers quickly due to a couple of really key points in our lives.
- I categorize all of our expenditures into buckets in Quicken. Even if you need to look at it really often or you want to deny how much you spend on something, that just doesn’t do you any favors. If you are trying to hide an expenditure, then you definitely need to categorize it (electronics, jewelry, travel, entertainment, groceries, dining, etc)
- Have a real advisor that can help you evaluate your expenses, your income and your assets. I am not talking about the job title Financial Advisor; those guys are sales guys trying to sell you insurance, investment vehicles like annuities, and help you watch your stock market investments. I am talking about someone that is really designed to evaluate the way you live. Often tax accountants are better prepared for this then many financial advisors. I use an amazing company call SmithFrank; they are the real deal when it comes to all financial considerations.
Here’s the deal. If you know your financial requirements, you shape yourself and your relationships, and you dream about what you would do with your life and time if you were in the cubicle or on the plane again, you may find retirement, life-style entrepreneurship or a sabbatical is more easily within your reach then you thought. These things will certainly make your life at any stage better.
I have had a goal on my life list for well over a decade and I am now getting a chance to pursue it. I have wanted to create children’s books about doing what you love to do, for a career. So maybe sabbatical is a better for term for me, but really what I am doing is just living within a new framework. I am glad I planned for it.
Lois Melbourne, GPHR, is co-founder and former CEO of Aquire Solutions, mom to one terrific young son and wife of co-founder Ross Melbourne. After entering a bit of a sabbatical life phase, she is authoring a series of children’s books about career ambitions. She maintains a strong personal commitment to career education and small business development and is a speaker, author of industry articles, and an occasional blogger and networker. Connect with her on Twitter as @loismelbourne.
Photo credit iStockphoto
There’s so much on the blogosphere about how to motivate and retain your High Potential employees and top performers. This is great because you do want to retain the lot of them if you want to maintain and increase your competitive edge.
There is research to show that employers will actively seek out and reward their top 10% or 20%, because it is believed that that select group will be responsible for the bulk of their productivity and will outperform the rest of their counterparts.
This brings to mind the Pareto Principle which states that …roughly 80% of the effects will come form 20% of the causes.
Therefore it does make sense to nurture the top 20 %. I definitely agree but will add a note of caution that while we must nurture and recognize the 20% it should not be to the detriment of the remaining 80.
Do not ignore the 80%.You still need the rest of the team to achieve a comprehensive output.
The focus should be on elevating the team to All star status via mentoring, knowledge sharing, and recognition. There is value to be gained from moving the 80% progressively from good to better and then best.
It involves investigation, digging deeper to discover the root causes and seeking out customized solutions. Are they in the wrong jobs ill-suited to their skills and competencies? Is mentoring and coaching required? Is it a case of a lack of awareness and ignorance? These are pertinent questions to consider in the quest to bridge the gap.
We are the sum of our parts and when there is a weak link, inevitably we are less than we really could be.
The goal should be the continuous improvement of the whole rather than just the visible parts. When the average moves a notch to become great, and the great becomes exceptional, then everybody wins.
We recently had an employee return to work and after a lay off and if there was one thing that I found really remarkable, it was the new found zeal and dedication to work that was exhibited second time around.
There was an increased appreciation for the opportunity to work and also a willingness to learn and succeed second time around. Plus there was less training required as she was familiar with the work flow and hit the ground running with little to no adjustment required.
I’d like to see more career comebacks in the work place. There are so many benefits to be accrued for all concerned.
While I fully agree that by injecting fresh blood into the system provides access to new ideas and innovation, managing or “loving the ones you are with” beats expending time, energy and resources to engage a new hire.
I am of the opinion that everyone has the potential to be a high potential. I admit this might seem overly simplistic but under the right conditions and circumstances, employees will excel and progressively improve on competencies and abilities.
In work environments, past experience or performance are usually great indicators of future performance but there will always be the exception. One person’s career slips and challenges can make them a better person and can produce a stronger and more valuable team member.
Sometimes, we just need to take a step back and pause, and with keen eyes, seek out ways that we can improve on the existing rather than discarding. So, develop other potentials and every now and then, look past the obvious to find talent hidden in the unlikely. Finally, create an all-star team where everyone can be on the winning streak.
Would we all benefit? I believe so.