Ever get that call from a former colleague or someone you recently met at a conference asking for that “cup of coffee?” It is typically a code name for a job search, and I believe we should all be saying yes and be willing to support others in their quest.
But this post is not speaking to those of us taking the call – it is speaking to the caller.
Yes caller- I mean you- and how you may do a better job preparing for those coffee meetings so they are productive for both. It surprises me how often I meet with people who are uncomfortable with or unsure how to make the most of our meeting. Here are some suggestions for you to consider to make the meeting productive:
1. Have a target list of companies of interest in the industries you are pursuing.
When I meet with people that come to the table with a target list it helps me think of people I know to connect them to. These people may not be in the exact companies you list, however they will most likely be in the same industry. If you are a generalist that can cross industries that is great, however keep in mind that this list will help trigger new connections for you, which is why it is so important to prepare one.
2. Research the LinkedIn network for who you are meeting with to identify potential contacts of interest.
Connect on LinkedIn if you are not already connected and read through the contacts and make a list of who would like to connect to. We all know LinkedIn relationships vary across a spectrum, so the more names you identify the better your odds are of meeting more people.
3. Have jobs you are applying for handy with explanations for the feedback you are getting.
This could provide an opportunity for coaching and also prompt further discussions about potential opportunities.
4. Have an idea for how you may be able to help the person you are meeting with.
This one may go without saying, however many people do not do this . Even if the person you are meeting with says they cannot think of anything in the moment, I have been impressed with people that say that they have thought of a few things on their own (which may be handy in the future).
There are so many positive outcomes that can come out of a job search. What are some of the best (and worst) experiences you have had from requesting or agreeing to a cup of coffee?
Debbie Brown is a Senior Sales Executive in Analytics, Software and Services . The majority of her career has been spent managing people and teams in software and services provided to the HR industry. Debbie enjoys sharing leadership best practices and as an avid reader is always happy to share great book recommendations. You can connect with Debbie on Twitter as @DebbieJBrown.
As Women of HR gets ready to turn three years old this June, we’re in the process of going through our first major transition. For the past three years, the amazing and talented Lisa Rosendahl has been the driving force behind this site, spending countless hours soliciting, editing, and scheduling all of the fantastic and informative posts that have run. If not for her, this site would not be what it is today, and I know I’m not alone in expressing my gratitute to Lisa for all of her efforts. But as with any major project, as things evolve, changes become necessary. To allow her more time to focus on her own endeavors, Lisa has decided to step aside as editor, and I have stepped in to assume those duties. To read Lisa’s thoughts on the transition, stop over to her blog where she’s talking about it today as well.
As the new editor, I look forward to continuing to provide you, our readers, with the informative and thought-provoking posts you have come to expect. I’ll also be looking to add new themes, series, and topics to keep the site ever evolving and in tune with the changing nature of our profession and business in general.
I would like to offer a public THANK YOU to all of our intelligent, talented, and hard-working contributors who generously give of their own time to share their thoughts and experiences with all of you. Without them, we wouldn’t have a Women of HR!
And last but not least, a big THANK YOU to all of our readers for continuing to come back, week after week, to see what we’re currently talking about. If there’s anything in particular that you’d like to see us posting about, please comment below or send me a note at email@example.com. I welcome any suggestions for topics and themes, or any ideas you may have for ensuring that we’re relevant and providing you what you need. And if any of you have ever thought about wanting to write and would like to become a contributor, or even just test the waters with a guest post, please send me a note as well. We’d love to have you as part of our team!
You know the routine. You attend a networking event, professional conference, association meeting and collect a bucket load of 2 x 3 inch business cards from a collection of professionals, ranging from the gentleman who sat next to you at breakfast to an engaging mentor-worthy executive. Then the event ends and you transport the business cards from your suit pocket to your work bag and forget about them until you arrive to work the next morning.
Traditional networking wisdom would tell you to take the time in the next couple of days to log each contact’s information onto a spreadsheet and then follow up with an email (and log that too). Sound like a lot of work? Probably because it is and the fact that it is time consuming and really not top of mind (after all the conference is over and you have a stack of work to get to done) leads to a high likelihood of business card abandonment.
A better way to deal with a stack of business cards is to embrace social media to make your life easier. I constantly hear colleagues, friends, and family lamenting the main social sites calling them a time-zappers when really if used effectively they can be a time saver.
Below are a couple of tips for how to manage newly made contacts that will not consume your time for half a morning.
- Business card reader apps. If you have a smart phone or tablet then you can utilize this immediately. After collecting a business card you can take a photo of it and it will automatically be added to your phone contacts. Some of these apps go so far as finding the contact on LinkedIn and sending them a connection request. How is that for a time saver?
- In the moment notes. Immediatel
y after you collect someone’s card, take 30 seconds to jot down something you learned about them on the back of the card. This will help you remember what was meaningful about this particular person. Trust me after a long day of networking many of these contacts will blur together and you may remember that someone has a daughter at UCLA and loves mountain bike riding but deciphering if it was Cindy at GM or Greg from Target will be more challenging.
- Connections through LinkedIn. Instead of taking the time to enter contact information on a spreadsheet, invest that time by finding your contacts on LinkedIn and sending a connection request with a personal message that refers to something you learned about them (jotted down on the back of the business card- see point 2) when you met.
Remember, the point of sharing business cards isn’t to increase the number of contacts on your spreadsheets. Business card exchanges are solely for staying connected. Utilize social media and allow relationship building and productivity to co-exist.
What has worked for you?
Photo credit: iStockphoto
About the author: Maggie Tomas works at the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota as Associate Director and Career Coach in the Graduate Business Career Services office. Her background includes teaching and career counseling at the college level, namely at the University of St. Thomas, University of California Santa Barbara, and Brooks Institute, where she served as Director of Career and Student Services. She is a contributing writer to several blogs and publications including Opus Magnum, Women of HR and Job Dig.
Today commemorates the 2 year anniversary of Women of HR. 2 years, over 300 posts, 50 some regular and guest contributors. Dudes, can you believe it?
2 years ago, I was lucky enough to kick off the site by encouraging you all to be subversive in our inaugural post. 1 year ago, I told everyone they got puppies and ice cream in celebration of our first anniversary. Hmm, what should we do for our 2nd anniversary then?
In all seriousness though, thank you
, everyone, for your continued support, contributions and readership. The thought provoking posts, the encouraging comments, and this wonderful community.
We do this for you. Because we've got your back.
Huge love and hugs to our Editor-in-Chief Lisa Rosendal, and my lovely fellow co-founders Trish McFarlane, Sarah White, Charee Klimek, and Jennifer Payne. There are no words to express how grateful I am to share in this great project we started one fun night in Chicago.
I know that this next year is going to be just as amazing and exciting as the last two. I hope you will all be there to experience it with us.
A few weeks ago, week my constant state of being over committed caught up with me and I fell ill.
My body was telling me to slow down and I fought it with everything I had, but I lost. The result of what happened was exactly what I needed.
You see, I had an ENTIRE day to myself. No one at home. No one at my office door. No electronic device tempting me to answer it for the next great blog post, tweet, DM or Facebook note. At first, I didn’t know what to do. Honestly, I fought an amazing pull to do SOMETHING because that’s what we wired to do. Doing nothing means being lazy, nonchalant or just slacking off.
The reality of this day to myself is that it allowed me to just empty myself out mentally and get reset. I’ll be honest. I don’t do this nearly enough. Like many of my friends, we just keep adding on more and slogging through it because we have an immense capacity (or so we tell ourselves).
When I was better the next day, I was sharp, revived and ready to face things once again. This time, however, I didn’t do the mad jump into the rush. I sat back and thought about how the tidal wive of commitments I’ve chosen could very easily come back and jump up to attempt to drown me once again.
So, I thought it was time to get back to what works for me – feelin’ groovy!!
The phenomenal duo of Simon & Garfunkel had many memorable songs, but one of my faves was The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy) because the lyrics and the feel from the song give you perspective. Look at this:
“Slow down, you move too fast. You got to make the mornin’ last. Just kickin’ down the cobblestones, Lookin’ for fun and feelin’ groovy. Ba da da da da da da, feelin’ groovy.”
It may seem naive, or even a waste of time, for folks. That’s a shame. I know that when I woke up to head back into work and heard this song, I thought let’s try something renewed today. So, I was kinder to my family, excited to get to work, and geeked to see my friends and co-workers. I called some of my friends from the “social media space” just to check in and see how they were doing, etc.
The groove hasn’t left and I hope it doesn’t. As you approach your day, your work in HR and life in general, remember – HOW you approach it makes all the difference in the world.
I need to go kick some cobblestones now . . .
Debbie* is brilliantly creative. She leads the public relations campaigns for one of the largest health care facilities in the United States, but she yearns to be her own boss, brave the entrepreneurial path and reinvent the long forgotten power of the written word.
Jill* is an intellectual, with a brain that moves at warp speed. She has advanced degrees in education and worked as an elementary school principal while writing her doctoral thesis. As her mind mulled over the complex issue of praising children for their results or their efforts, her soul asked if it could go outside, sit under a tree and write fiction.
These two smart, savvy and socially adept women were successfully climbing a career ladder. Socially, these women earned top marks. They were accepted by friends, family and society for being wonderful pillars of social order, but their inner knowing, their essential self, was tired of pleasing everybody else, tired of playing the game, tired of repressing deeper feelings and real dreams.
Every woman who has ever yearned to be someplace else, but dutifully shows up where she is asked, or any woman who sits in a boring meeting, nodding with consent while secretly visualizing her hidden talents being applauded by thousands, knows the struggle only too well between the social self and the essential self.
Who are these two opposing elements that reside within the same bodily domicile and why must they struggle? And… is it okay that you hear these different voices?
First, every individual has a social self and an essential self. The social self is the persona which conforms to the demands of family, friends, community, and society and which an individual generally develops for acceptance or for protection. The essential self is an individual’s true self and expresses the individual’s thoughts, feelings, desires, needs, and inner purpose.
The social self often runs in opposition to the essential self in order to avoid ruffling the feathers of those around you, or to keep the status-quo. Your social self is geared to be avoidance based, conforming, predictable and hardworking. Your essential self is wired to be attraction-based, unique, surprising and playful.
How can two juxtaposed selves reside in the same place? Not easily. In fact, most days they are in conflict, but when they do agree to work together, it’s bliss. Literally.
The language of your essential self is this:
- Energy. Your essential self has lots and lots of energy! Feeling lethargic, drained or even exhausted is a sign that your social self has ruled too long. It’s time for a revolution. Take note of the activities that drain you and the activities that revive your energy levels. Where you’re peppy and full of zip is where your essential self resides.
- Health. Your essential self keeps you healthy! Every stressful experience causes a physiological response in the body within seventy-two hours. Frustrating encounters with colleagues lead to headaches, neck pain and an over-burdened immune system. You may not even realize your social self is ruling you until you drop an activity, a job, or a mate and suddenly see yourself looking and feeling better.
- Memory. Your essential self is a sponge not a sieve! Where lies your passion, lies your memory. Ever try to learn information that was boring? When you feel apathetic, or are downright disinterested your brain has a heck of a time hanging onto bits of data. However, when you are genuinely motivated or passionate about a topic, the smallest bits of trivia are valued like gold nuggets.
- Time flies. Your essential self cannot tell time! If the second hand on the clock has stopped moving, your essential self is gasping for air. When you lose track of time, absorbed in an activity that has drastically increased your attention span, your essential self is fully engaged.
- High. A natural one. Your essential self puts you in a good mood! When your social self is tempted to be scared, but your essential self is feeling exhilarated, you’ll float, having found such inner peace that even bitter, nasty, social self driven individuals will not be able to burst your balloon of happiness.
When you reconnect and start speaking the language of your essential self, you thrive. When you are feeling cynical, have doubts, or experience fear, thank your social self for wanting to keep you safe, and then sweetly ask it to be quiet. Pain, self-sacrifice, suffocation or numbness of your spirit are not helping you reach your fullest potential, nor helping you offer your greatest good to the world.
Debbie just finished assembling two hundred and fifty of the most gorgeous wedding invitations. The bride and groom are socially tickled and Debbie is essentially ecstatic with the results. Jill just completed a series of children’s book about the most adorably curious boy and his imaginary adventures. Her essential self will give every child who reads her stories the gift of discovering their own greatest potential.
Go on, get high … naturally. It’s essential.
Photo credit iStockphoto *All names have been changed.
This first week of the new year we are featuring some of our top posts at Women of HR. Enjoy!
Tim Sackett doesn’t think we need a website called Women of HR.
Maybe he is right.
- We have the Equal Pay Act of 1963,
- the Civil Rights Act of 1964,
- Title IX,
- and the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act.
Women comprise the majority of HR professionals. We own the function of HR even if we only represent a fraction of HR professionals who are responsible for a budget and have organizational authority to make decisions.
What more could we want?
According to Sackett, HR women don’t need special accommodations and we don’t need a calendar. We’re a majority. We should shut up and appreciate our status.
Except no one here at Women of HR is asking for an accommodation.
I don’t hear my colleagues requesting special treatment or a helping hand. We’re not asking for favors. No one wants something for nothing. We are a self-identified group of women who’ve joined together to talk about Human Resources, leadership, recruiting, and training.
That’s still legal in America, especially since we include men.
What I like about Women of HR is that it’s a unique example of technology, community, and conversation. This site includes HR professionals who are at the beginning of their careers and seasoned HR veterans who are thinking about their second acts. There are women from the recruiting community speaking to women from the technology community. And there are women who love Human Resources and women who hate HR coming together in single space to advance the profession.
Call it Women of HR or call it something else, but it’s unique and kind of revolutionary.
I think it’s also revolutionary that we didn’t crucify Sackett when he suggested that Women of HR wasn’t needed. If this website does anything, it shows that shortsighted opinions on gender and power will be carefully and respectfully considered by the majority. There were no shrill voices. There were no false cries of sensationalism or stereotypically aggressive responses.
There was nothing but good old-fashioned inclusion and debate.
Who says we don’t need that in Human Resources?
This holiday week we are featuring some of our top posts on Women of HR. Enjoy!
I am a huge fan of Sarah McLachlan. She’s a brilliant musician and entrepreneur.
That’s right, e-n-t-r-e-p-r-e-n-e-u-r.
You see, Sarah figured out that if we stopped making the music business competitive, and instead collaborative, there would be far more female musicians out there that would have their shot at real success. She pushed to create all-female led-band concerts.
And Lilith Fair was born.
The statistics on Lilith Fair’s success are astounding when you realize that nothing like it existed before. In the 1990s, the Lilith Fair concert series earned more than $16M in ticket sales. The concert was sold out in virtually every city where it was booked. It was girl-power extraordinaire.
In the years following the Lilith Fair tour, we saw many more female musicians in airplay. Their music was softer, harder, richer and gutsier than ever. Men showed up. The riffs are more complicated now. The lyrics cover more diverse subjects. The music has taken us beyond Carly Simon, Joni Mitchell and Helen Reddy.
In our profession, WOHR is our Lilith Fair. It is incredibly cool to have a space where women (and men) celebrate our profession in a collaborative fashion, without it being all gooey.
That isn’t to say that women have experienced challenges in our profession, in fact we dominate the profession, but it is to say that we are at the stage where we can now influence our profession by celebrating who we really are. It is no longer about towing the company line. It is no longer about crafting a dated message. It is about putting a human touch on human resources.
When I made my first post on WOHR a couple of months ago, I was overwhelmed by the positive feedback. I realized that I was not the only HR Pro who enjoyed muscle cars, college football, baking and puppies. The experienced fueled a growing list of things to blog about.
And, I can write about all sorts of subjects without feeling like I need to put on my business jacket with the extra-wide shoulder pads.
Even more significant, I found a whole lot of great HR Pros to follow and support.
Sarah McLachlan’s career skyrocketed during Lilith Fair and she has earned a place among music’s elite. The same is true for many of the other artists on the tour.
If we all continue to collaborate, won’t the same thing happen here too?
Photo Credit, People Magazine, July 19, 2010, via Lilith
In the mad pace of the work world, do you take time to reflect at all? Really. Do you reflect or do you react?
Most HR people I know constantly share with me that they react more often than anything in their daily jobs. Part of this is a fact of being in HR because people can be unpredictable. (That’s one of the things that makes working with people so cool!)
I had a conversation recently with some people about the challenge of having people report to you. It really is daunting if you think about it. It’ s not just a matter of performance reviews, systems and tasks. When someone reports to you, they are at the mercy of your decisions for their careers and their daily work experience.
So, back to the reflection question. Do you think about how you affect those that report to you or work with you? Do they matter to you or are they just a means to an end to get work done? This is something to really look at.
Think about this . . . you are with the people you work with more each day than anyone else including family and friends. This alone should be a motivator to really check into what matters to those around you.
What would work be like if you shared what mattered to you with those that report to you or work with you? You’d be amazed at the depth and vibrancy you’d find in the people you sometimes won’t even take the time to say, “Hi” to because it’s too important to get to that critical e-mail that you just HAVE to answer.
Try a new approach this week. Take a deep breath and go out into your work environment. Talk to the people that you spend each day with and see what matters to them. You’ll start to understand what true diversity is because it’s all around you just waiting to be tapped.
Need to go now. More great humans to hang out with!
The primary driver in my life is connecting with people.
To my mind, these are the things that a good life is made of: friendships and connections filled with eye contact, a good story, shared experiences or backgrounds, similar dreams, sustained authentic engagement, and loyalty.
I’ve found that, as an HR leader, it can be fairly idealistic (and frankly a bad idea) to try to create friendships at work without some realistic expectations around politics, power, appearances, and long-term consequences. In addition, things change over time. Motivators, circumstances, shared commonalities and proximity are all subject to change overnight. For most people, sustained connection and authenticity are not primary drivers in the workplace. Achievement, power, learning, networking or flat cash might be their goal. There’s nothing wrong with them. There was just some maturing and boundary setting to do on my end.
When I look back on the “Big Mistakes” I’ve made in my career, they’ve all been because I had unrealistic expectations of my work friends. I assumed that they would, and should, put our friendship above whatever other issues might drive one’s behavior in the workplace. I was dead wrong. They weren’t. They were behaving rationally to achieve their goals and, in most cases, to achieve the goals of the organization. They knew that friendship at work is just that – friendship at work – not some undying commitment to look out for one another at the expense of their own careers or the company’s goals.
Thankfully, I’m now more mindful of the need to respect the workplace for what it is and people for who they are. I am still addicted to connecting, but I can find more appropriate outlets than my inherently politically-fraught career path. I’ll continue to use platforms like Women of HR, HREvolution, Twitter and blogs to find other smart HR pros who are interested in connecting . . . with fewer potential complications and long-term consequences than finding career soul mates in one’s day to day work. The hugs and comments and ambient connectivity associated with this smart group of HR pros is what allows me to do my job better. I have deep connections with professional friends outside of work – who are actual friends - and this allows me to keep boundaries at work that work and maintain realistic expectations of my coworkers and bosses.
That’s a big start for a connection-hungry nerd like me.
Photo credit iStockphoto