We Are All Bullies, Sometimes

Tiger Mike’s memos were, uhm, memorable. Do yourself a favor on click on over if you haven’t seen them already. These directives, full of threats, hyperbole, and cuss words were his best attempt at “make it happen” leadership. They may not have actually worked, or maybe his strategy was wrong, because Tiger Oil went bankrupt in the 80s.   But he could sure get his point across – with flare! And drama! And some action, damn it!

The thing is, Tiger Mike most likely didn’t see himself as a bully at all.  He most likely would have been shocked by the play his memos are getting now. Pugilistic and direct, maybe, but what entrepreneur doesn’t have to fight to get what they want? He truly believed that writing these memos were a good use of his time.  He apparently saw himself as the misunderstood victim of his powerful staff, who took his money but didn’t always do what he wanted. He was  lost in feeling outnumbered and powerless – most likely with no concept that he was contributing to the problem.

We’re no better than Tiger Mike, really. We just usually have better filters. We’re all stressed these days, trying to do everything perfectly, or reach too many goals in too few hours. We have moments when we feel isolated, one-down, unpowerful, or without voice, so we pound on the table. Or say something catty. Or pull a harmless prank.  And in doing so, we get attention, and that mollifies for a moment.

But the fact is, when we give in to the snarky comment, yell, undercut, or use our positions to harm others, we lose. Because we’re telling the world that we feel insecure, have failed in our leadership, an dthat we are weak. We give away our power when we act out of feeling powerless. And we look like bullies even though we’d never apply that term to ourselves.

So what is there to do?

You’re bigger than that.