Wishful Thinking Is For The Weak

Grappling with why you are successful with one thing yet not with another is a tough place to be. There are no easy answers.

You have to make sense of it on your own and the process of evaluation and analysis takes time and yields no definitive answers. When you see results, you may believe that these results happen as a result of certain occurrences but sometimes, these results are achieved despite these occurrences. Sometimes things happen that reinforce whatever you believe to be the case, but in fact, these things happen despite whatever you do.

I find that it is the journey more than anything else that determines the success or results achieved. The journey calls for the examined life. If you find that you are achieving success in certain areas more than others, I would hazard a guess that it because of the following :

  • You want it. You’re prepared to spend the time on this area because you see the value in what you’re doing and therefore, you are not willing to leave it to chance or circumstance.
  • You practice. Success comes with trial and error. It also comes with time, effort and persistence. How much time and effort varies but you will find that the fact that you have spent the time and effort on one thing, far more than with others, will generate the returns.
  • You experienced joy. If you enjoy doing something, the process and the journey are all that more palatable. This feeds right back into the process and in turn, the learning cycle is one of passion, interest and joy.
  • You're a natural. What activities can you happily spend much time on and not feel the time go by? These are activities that may come naturally to you and, more often than not, are fun for you. You achieve success and the increased level of success keeps your momentum going.
  • You are mindful. Where your mind is, action occurs. If something is important to you, it affects the actions you take. Therefore, keep your goals keep in your present state of mind literally all  the time. Once you accept the road you need to be on, you will see things that

    previously you had not. That affects everything. Everything.

  • You embrace challenge. It is completely possible to avoid the challenges you know you need to embrace in order to improve, or to get real skill. However, once you have made the switch mentally, your world opens up (almost as if the stars align) and you find that you ‘see’ things you didn’t see before.
  • You build a support system. Once you are committed to doing something, once you’ve set yourself up on a particular road, inevitably, you will line things up to support you on your journey. All these little things add up and strengthen the process.

Wishful thinking is for the weak.

If you really want something, you have to go after it. Wishing for it is just deluding yourself that you can get it and that you will indeed do that someday. Intent in itself is not enough. You have to set yourself up for success and surround yourself with the tools, the ideas, the people, and the atmosphere, if you will, for success.

More than anything else, I believe the key to being good at something is to develop the habits that best support it. Leaving it to chance, intent or just plain old desire (“I really want to”) does not enable success. Everyday occurrences, change of heart/mind, lack of focus, inability to keep it front and center – all these things will creep in, to prevent you from achieving your goal. However, if you can set up some habits to support your goal, then you have a much better chance of making it happen.

What am I really saying?

I am asking you to clarify your thoughts.
I am asking you to make a decision and not sit on the fence, leaving the ebb and flow of your life to chance because you have the ability and the opportunity to drive your journey.
And you should do that.

About the author: Rowena Morais is the Editor of HR Matters Magazine. A lawyer by training, Rowena left practice to embrace her entrepreneurial spirit and has not looked back since. She maintains a blog at Rowena Morais Posterous.

Photo credit iStockphoto


About the Author

Rowena Morais

Editor and Program Director at VerticalDistinct.com, a media and learning organisation, Rowena Morais is an entrepreneur, writer and editor. She supports Human Resource and Technology professionals in their career development through articles, podcasts, interviews and a range of internationally accredited, in-demand technical and professional courses offered throughout Asia Pacific and the Middle East. A ghostwriter, you can also find out more about Rowena at rowenamorais.com. Rowena tweets at @rowenamorais.